It Hurts Too Much
by hollywoodstarsandeyes
Summary: Something has happened, and Terra has been released from her stone prison. However, not everyone is happy about it, surprisingly, Terra least of all.
1. Reflections

A/N: This takes place a while after Aftershock. Please review and tell me what you think; I'm sorry there isn't much action in this chapter, hence the name; it's sorta like a prologue but not really. You get the idea.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. Only an active and unusual imagination.

**It Hurts Too Much**

The wind whistled through the trees nearby, the sound of fallen leaves grating along the granite ground. The cold breeze sailed through the cave opening, whizzing past stalactites and stalagmites. A drop of water could be heard in the background, falling incessantly since God knew when to God knew when. A dreary sight, all in all.

Beast Boy sighed. The wind ruffled his bangs, but he long ago ceased to flatten them. He felt as though he were becoming part of the cave, melding in with the rocks and dirt and cold. No such luck.

What was wrong with him? He thought that he had gotten over it; after all, time had healed those wounds, or at least it was supposed to. Just like the ship should have sailed. He thought wrong.

Not much could be heard; only that faint whisper of wind and that infernal drop. The ex-hideaway was dark and gloomy, try as he might to ignore it, and it didn't help being here all by himself.

Beast Boy wrapped his arms around his legs, sitting on the damp ground, and looked up forlornly at the statue of the former Titan. Even in stone, Terra had not lost any of her former beauty. Her hair was blown back, as if by the wind that now pestered him. Her body seemed tensed, awaiting the blast it would never finish acknowledging. Her eyes...

God, he missed her so much! Gritting his teeth, B.B. remembered her fun-loving nature, the way she always laughed with him and not at him, her free spirit…Yes, she had been a free spirit. B.B.'s eyes misted over, and he lowered his gaze. His stomach squirmed as thought about how her betrayal had affected all the Titans…

Robin hadn't said much, (did he ever?), but deep down Beast Boy knew he blamed himself. On more than one opportunity, he had heard the Boy Wonder in the training room, taking out his frustrations on the old punching bag, hit after hit, grunting more fiercely with each blow. Beast Boy would make bets with himself, thinking "He'll definitely stop now, it's been 1 hour." Which would soon meld into 2, or 3, or even 4.

Though not an unusual act in itself, to Beast Boy, it was obvious Robin felt as though he could punch and beat the tar out of his own guilt, that his errors could become his imaginary opponents. Even Beast Boy could appreciate that being the leader of the team put tremendous pressure on him, and Robin often thought that somehow he had to be smarter and more calculating than the others. Worse of all, mistakes were **not** tolerated, and, like it or not, Terra had been a mistake...

Cyborg had grumbled and ranted mostly about the security breach in the Tower, and later over the destruction of his car. But it was obvious he too was disappointed in his lack of judgment. Cyborg had always thought Raven had overreacted with her reluctance to let Terra on the team, and didn't hesitate to say so.

Beast Boy recalled their conversations. Cyborg told him he was truly sorry for the fate of the girl, and that though he knew she had done terrible things, he couldn't find it in his heart to hold a grudge against her. He also voiced that his real concern was for B.B. himself.

Beast Boy smiled wanly to himself now; he didn't think it took a genius to notice Cyborg was often worried about him, and tried to take his mind off things by offering frequently to kick Beast Boy's butt at Gamestation (what could be more normal?), and continuing their age-old argument over whether meat was better than tofu. The changeling usually complied just to avert such attention.

His thoughts turned to Starfire. It was clear she had been terribly upset about the loss of her new friend. It was as though she had just been getting to know her, another female member she could confide in and actually expect an enthusiastic response, not a telekinetic projectile, from.

It hurt B.B. to think of how much Starfire had missed her when she was gone. She tried not to cry too much, but her emerald eyes clearly lost some of their luster. She tried not to pester the others about the reversal of the...effect for the sake of the team's sanity, but if the topic was ever broached, she pounced on the chance to discuss it. Unfortunately for them, her main outlet was to attempt more of her Tamaranian recipes, and Robin's digestion was in serious danger as a consequence.

The shadows in the cave lengthened almost imperceptibly. Beast Boy shivered, discomforted by his surroundings and his memories. Worst of all was Raven. Though she tried not to show it, and a lifetime of practice aided her in her task, it was obvious to certain members that she thought this was all her fault. For some reason she never trusted Terra, and when she had finally let those seemingly unbreakable emotional shields down, the unthinkable happened.

B.B. didn't have to be an empath to understand the blow this must have been, knowing full-well how hard it was to gain her trust. Whenever someone commented on it, Raven viciously spat that she was merely angered by the "traitor's" actions. The team realized, however, that Raven had truly believed Terra was her friend. The other Titans would never know about the conversation that took place between the two when Terra had been on her killing rampage, but it was clear that their relationship was damaged beyond repair.

Beast Boy paused at this last thought. What about me?, he thought, wringing his hands ever-so-slightly. He frowned; did he wallow in self-pity or guilt, attempt to ignore it all, or condemn Terra for all she had done?

With resolution, he turned to look at the statue again. He locked eyes with those of the girl he had once loved. "I don't care what Raven says. I know you Terra. I know deep down, you were just scared and lost and confused. We all are...But you know what? I forgive you," said Beast Boy standing up, brushing the dirt of his backside and gloved hands.

"I forgive you."

His voice echoed away. The wind blew slightly stronger. Beast Boy shivered again. It was getting late; the Titans would be worried if he didn't get back soon. He started to turn away, taking one last look at the hunk of rock that had been his friend...when he noticed something strange.

An eerie yellow light seemed to emanate from the statue. Suddenly, the earth began to quake, slightly at first, but increasingly violently, and a rumbling noise seemed to come from the statue itself.

Beast Boy could only watch in shock, frozen in place, as the stone began to crumble away, pulverizing into thin air. It only took a moment, but it seemed like an eternity to him.

When it was all over, a heavy silence descended. Dust and debris finally began to settle. Beast Boy gaped widely at the now slouched and exhausted, but very much alive and breathing figure of Terra.


	2. Disbelief and broken doors

A/N: Well, I finally got a chance to write this. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes, but my dinner consisted mostly of Ritz crackers, so I'm not focusing too great. Aurora Maryte, thanks so much! You are officially my first reviewer, who gave me my first review :) yay!(confetti falls). Umm, anyway, on to chapter two!

* * *

Terra bent over double, breath coming in quick gasps. Her ragged uniform hung from her thin form; if possible, the former Titan looked skinnier than before.

Beast Boy finally snapped out of his trance, and rushed over to her. "Terra, Terra! You…you…".

The changeling hovered near her, too afraid to touch her, yet unable to stay away. The shock of what he was seeing made his fur stand on edge; his lips quivered, and he rubbed his eyes vigorously, praying that what he was seeing was no dream.

He finally managed to mutter something coherent. "No way…". He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

Finally, Terra stood up straight. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Exhaustion emanated from her in waves; she swayed slightly, but kept her balance.

Finally, her sky-blue eyes opened, and looked into Beast Boy's own. She looked at him blankly for a few seconds, then seemed to catch herself.

"Hey, B.B.. Miss me?"

She attempted a smile, but failed. Her quintessential playful look was gone. Her eyes looked as empty as Beast Boy's heart had felt only a moment ago. She bit her lip. How would he react?

With a happy cry, Beast Boy wrapped his arms around the earth-shifter in an exuberant hug worthy of Starfire. Terra stood stiffly.

"I don't believe it! This is too awesome! I can't tell you how happy I am!" he exclaimed, holding her tight.

Slowly, Terra returned the hug. Unseen by Beast Boy, a tear silently slid down her cheek.

"Yeah" she said in a slow, low voice. "Same here".

* * *

"Hey, anybody seen B.B.?" asked Cyborg, looking around the main room for the changeling.

"I believe he left some time ago, to pay a visit to Terra" Starfire called from the kitchen.

"Whatcha making, Star?" asked Robin, walked through the doorway.

Starfire stirred the contents of a large bowl. "Pudding of Sadness" she stated calmly.

"Why?" asked Robin concerned, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Is something wrong?"

"It is not for myself, but for friend Raven, to ease her troubled mind" said Star.

Robin cringed remembering the last time Raven had been offered the pudding and told her mind was troubled. It took a week to replace those monitor screens. He opened his mouth to mention it, but Cyborg interrupted.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, entering the conversation as he leaned against the counter. "Troubled mind? What's up with Raven?"

Starfire hesitated. "It is…complicated. She has been acting strange all afternoon. She travels restlessly from room to room, hooded, as if waiting for something to happen. When I questioned her about it, she uttered something about 'Just a statue' and left the room."

Robin and Cyborg exchanged glances. Raven's behavior, consisting of constant meditation, stoic contemplation, and loads of time shut up in her room, could never exactly be described as "normal", but it definitely sounded like something was up.

Cyborg stood up. "Maybe I should go ask her about it, see if I can find out what's the deal. You guys stay here."

He left the main room, faintly hearing as he closed the door "But you did not try any last time, Robin. Just have a taste…"

Cyborg winced; he didn't know about the pudding's, erm, _unique_ taste, but given his experience with Starfire's cooking, he could definitely imagine. He entered the elevator, and made his way toward the floor where the dark teen often secluded herself.

* * *

It wasn't working. Big surprise.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

It was no use; nothing could shake off the anxiety coursing through her.

Raven opened her eyes, and uncrossed her legs on the bed. Meditating hadn't helped. Things were looking serious.

_You have to calm down, Raven. You're overreacting_, she thought to herself, as she paced around her sanctuary.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. By the banging, metallic sound, and the way her door quaked, she knew it was Cyborg on the other side.

"Raven? You in there? Hey Raaaven!" he called, still knocking.

Suddenly, the door came down. Cyborg sweat-dropped anime style.

"Aw man, not again! She's gonna kill me!" he muttered, looking around nervously, clamoring to pick up the door and wedge it back into it's former spot. He dusted his hands off, thinking, _Maybe she's up on the roof_.

He looked around again to make sure no on had seen him, and walked off, whistling innocently, headed for the roof.

Back in Raven's room, a dark shadow quickly materialized into a blue cloaked girl. She was so worried, she wasn't even angry about the door. She walked over to her dresser and observed her reflection in the mirror. A tense face, framed by pin-straight hair and marked by an intense, violet gaze, stared back.

She sighed. It couldn't be helped, she had seen what she had seen.

_flash back_

It took place early in the afternoon. B.B. was leaving to go visit Terra.

Passing Raven in the hall, the changeling foolishly brought up the subject of Terra's encasement in stone. He earnestly asked whether Raven had made any progress researching some magical method to bring her back.

Raven had tensed visibly. She had been avoiding the subject, and her first reaction was to mutter that there was nothing she could do for now.

"Oh c'mon Raven!" B.B. snapped angrily, losing his temper. "Sometimes I think you don't even try!" he exclaimed, grabbing her wrist.

The vision hit Raven like a ton of bricks:

A flash of yellow light;

Beast Boy hugging a live Terra;

Beast Boy throwing things in the main room;

Terra running...

It was over almost a soon as it started. Raven jerked out of his grasp. She blinked disconcertedly, trying to make sense of what she had seen.

Beast Boy looked at her oddly. "Uh, Raven? Is everything ok?"

Raven studied him a moment before scowling and saying "I have to go", and headed off to the roof. B.B. stayed glued on the spot for a few seconds before turning and continuing on his way to Terra's tomb.

_end of flash back_

Raven slammed her fist down on her dresser.

No! Terra couldn't be back! 

_Why not?_ Asked a sly voice in the back of her head. _Would it matter to you if she was?_

"Of course," growled Raven out loud to herself. "She's a dangerous criminal, a liar, and a spy. She tried to kill us without batting an eye."

_But then she sacrificed her life to save the city and the Titans._

"It was probably only because Slade turned on her. If he hadn't, we might be dead now." 

_Is this _really_ about the safety of team, or because of a certain green elf?_

Raven shook her head violently, dispelling the thought the instant it entered her head. She clenched her fists.

_This whole argument is pointless_, she thought, ignoring the fact that she had actually had a conversation with herself. _Because she's gone. Done for. Yesterday's sushi_.

Raven shuddered at her own apparent coldness. She heaved another sigh, all malice gone. She stretched her arms, suddenly feeling very sore and tired. Terra really was gone, and was probably never coming back.

As if on cue, Raven's communicator beeped scandalously. Robin's voice was unmistakable.

"Titans! Emergency! Report to the main room immediately!"


	3. Acceptance is the first step to recovery

A/N: I'm back! I had to take the chance that today I had absolutely no exams to study for, and the fact that I'm going to Florida on Thursday and won't be back until Sunday to write this chapter now. Audie, your totally right, I vow to never again criticize when an author writes a short chapter, it takes an awful lot of writing and time to make a reasonably long chapter! But I'll try really hard to make them more normal sized. Ok, on to chapter three!

* * *

Raven ran into the main room. "What's the prob…"

She let the rest of her sentence die away. Her eyes were seeing, but she couldn't register it. The other Titans minus Beast Boy were standing in front of the huge T.V. screen, staring with their mouths open wide.

The image on the screen was mostly made up of Beast Boy's face, eye's lit up, grinning from ear to ear. And visible behind him was Terra, human once more, hugging her knees as she sat on the ground. Her eyes averted the screen.

"Guys! Can you believe it?! Terra's back, she's okay!" shouted Beast Boy, pointing wildly behind him with one hand as he held the communicator with the other.

The Titans remained dumbfounded.

"How, how did this happen?" asked Robin, incredulous.

"I don't know, I figured I'd let Terra try and explain back at the tower" said Beast Boy, his smile fading a bit as he gestured toward the forlorn Terra. "She's pretty wiped out right now."

"Understood," exclaimed Robin. "Beast Boy, stay where you are with Terra. Raven," he said, turning toward her, "go find them and teleport them here."

The expression on the hooded figure's face was unreadable. Without a word, she was enshrouded in black energy, morphing into a giant raven. With a fiercer than normal caw, the Raven seeped upward through the roof and disappeared. Robin switched off the screen.

"Oh, what a most joyous occasion! Friend Terra is alive and well!" cheered Starfire, as she flew around the room, twirling and making figure eights in the air.

"Booyah! I knew that chic had what it took to hang in there!" exclaimed Cyborg, raising a hand to slap Robin a high five. He was shocked to find that the Boy Wonder wasn't joining in the celebration.

"Hey man, what's up with you?" he asked, staring at Robin. "Aren't you glad Terra's okay?"

Robin looked up suddenly, startled, as if he had been in deep thought.

"What? I mean, yeah, I'm glad she's okay, it's just…" Robin paused, obviously uncomfortable.

"It's just what?" pressed Cyborg, hands on his hips.

Starfire, clearly oblivious to the conversation going on between her two companions, happily stated, "Terra will undoubtedly be hungry upon her arrival. If I recall, she much enjoyed my recipe for homemade glorg. I shall proceed to make some, freshly squeezed, for her!" And with that, she flew off.

Now that they were alone, Robin felt more comfortable speaking. "I'm afraid things will get…_complicated_, around here," he commented in a low voice to Cyborg. "After all, even though she did save the city, she very well damn near destroyed it, too. Terra became Slade's apprentice and nearly killed us."

"I'm not saying we should throw her out straight away," Robin added hastily. He of all people knew being Slade's apprentice was not something to be taken lightly. "But, well…lets just say there are going to be opposing votes if it ever came to that."

Cyborg sighed and rubbed his head. He knew Robin was talking about Raven.

"Well, I guess your right. I gotta admit, I'm surprised Raven went off to get them without even protesting. I don't know what went down between the two of them, but things might get ugly when they get here."

"And if it does, I'm sure Beast Boy will only fan the fire," stated Robin. "I think the best thing we can do when they get here is to first make sure Terra's okay, physically at least. I'll talk to Raven. We can sort the rest out later. Terra didn't look like she was up to giving a lot of explanations for the moment."

Cyborg sat down on the couch, a frown tugging at his face.

"Man, you sure know how to trash a good mood" he told the Titan leader, staring at his huge shoes.

"I'm sorry if you feel that way," Robin replied sternly, "but there's a lot at stake here."

Suddenly, he sighed, and sat down on the couch next to Cyborg.

"Besides," he continued, picking up the remote and turning the T.V. on, "it's not like I'm enjoying this any more than you are".

A roar of thunder, like a bad omen, rumbled outside the tower.

* * *

A cloaked figure glided through the streets of the city. Night had fallen, and the sky was cloudy, threatening rain. The figure showed no hesitation as it made it's way silently through the streets and dark alleys.

Suddenly, black electricity bristled through the figure, lashing out and destroying random objects. The figure stopped abruptly.

"No" it whispered. _Control. Regain control_.

Another tendril of black energy shot out and turned an empty garbage can into rubble.

_Anger is pointless, don't waste your…_

"And what about hurt?" whispered the figure. "Can't I feel hurt? Or am I denied that, too?"

Unseen, under the hood, Raven's lips trembled. Hot tears streaked down her face, and she didn't bother to brush them aside.

_What was she doing? Was she really going to bring back the person who betrayed them, who made her feel like a naïve child_?

"No!" cried Raven, falling to her knees, hood falling back, clapping her hands over her ears in a vain attempt to stop the torrent of unanswered questions. Her shoulders shook as she struggled to suppress the sobs racking through her body. "She's just a traitor, she just…"

Finally, Raven stopped lying to herself. _She wasn't just a traitor_, she thought to herself. _She hurt me. I put my trust in her, and she stomped on it like a clump of dirt_.

As if on cue, the heavens opened and rain began to fall. It wasn't long before she was soaked to the bone. Raven couldn't really remember the last time she had felt so dismal. And that was saying something.

Forks of lightning flashed across the sky.

Slowly, Raven stood up. She replaced her hood over her head.

No, she couldn't break down now. Not now. She had to be strong, for her teammates…and for herself.

Furiously and vainly wiping at the tears mingled with rain on her face, she looked up through the downpour and sighed deeply. It seemed as if all the sorrow in the world was expelled in that sigh.

Collecting herself, Raven narrowed her eyes. Quickly, she continued on her way.

The rain washes everything away, and it wasn't long before it seemed as if nothing had ever happened on that dark street. And the hooded figure continued on toward the place she had never wanted to see again.

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know! Still too short! I guess I just write better in bits and pieces, but I'll keep trying to make the chapters longer anyway.


	4. Soaking wet and tired

Terra stared out into space. She hadn't said a word since she had first hugged Beast Boy. She hadn't done anything at all. She merely stared into space, lost in her own thoughtful world.

Beast Boy looked at her worriedly, wanting to shatter the silence with a joke, a word of comfort, ANYTHING, but nothing seemed to come out of his mouth. He merely sat beside her on the cold, hard ground.

He had pictured this scene many times before, but their reunion wasn't playing out as he had imagined it.

The weather was growing stormy…he wished Raven would get there soon.

He cringed. Raven. What would she say when she saw Terra?

Would she deadpan something about Terra being a traitor? Or express how she wished that Terra had stayed a statue? Beast Boy shuddered as he thought of all the possible hurtful comments that could come out of Raven's mouth.

But, strangely, at the same time, he felt an odd gnawing on his conscience. He was surprised to discover that he felt bad for expecting something so mean like that from Raven.

_But why? _he thought to himself. _There's nothing wrong with Raven. Sure, Terra betrayed her, but she betrayed all of us..._

_But_, he thought, _maybe this isn't about the fact that she tried to kill us._

_Then what else could it…?_

Suddenly, Beast Boy remembered the day that Terra had come after them. He recalled riding in the T-Car with his friends. He remembered declaring determinedly that he wouldn't stop cracking jokes until he got Raven to smile. When was the last time he had actually tried since that fateful day? B.B. couldn't remember.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a soft sigh. He looked over at Terra. She looked so small, so alone, despite the fact that he was inches away.

Was being trapped in stone enough to diminish a person so much? Beast Boy couldn't honestly give an opinion. He felt oddly torn between two opposing forces.

Another boom of thunder echoed around the ex-hideaway. Despite the gloom, Beast Boy smiled. Whatever the deal with Raven, Terra was still his friend, she was alive and well, and most of all, she needed support.

_No need for words_, he thought. He put comforting arm around her shoulders.

Terra looked up at him in surprise, but then relaxed and smiled for the first time. She lay her head on his shoulder, and stared up at the sky.

It started to rain. B.B. scratched his head, until a light bulb lit up his head. He morphed into a pterodactyl, and tucked Terra under his wing. Warmed by his body and protected from the rain, Terra smiled again and drifted off to sleep.

It had seemed like forever, but Raven finally reached her destination. This time, she had enough sense to shield herself from the rain with a raven-like shadow of energy.

It didn't take much effort to locate the pair. How many green pterodactyls do you see nowadays?

She hurried over to them, concerned for the changeling's health. The last time he had been out in the rain, the result hadn't been pretty.

She saw a slight bulge under B.B.'s wing. She eyed it suspiciously. Things were about to get complicated.

Reaching out, she gently shook Beast Boy's shoulder (A/N: _Do_ pterodactyls have shoulders? Just wondering).

B.B. immediately transformed back into his original form. He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Sorry it took so long…I made my way here on foot to save energy to teleport back faster, and…uhh…"

Raven mentally kicked herself. Why the hell was she offering explanations? It was totally out of her character. Never divulge information no one asks about, that was her credo. And sometimes even if they do.

Raven turned, and her eyes fell upon the earth-shifter. She was curled up, asleep, head resting on Beast Boy's chest.

B.B. stuttered, "Uh, this is…I didn't…she just…" he stopped. He looked so cute, all wet with his eyes wide. "Look Raven, I…"

She didn't let him finish. Without a word, she raised her hands and enveloped the trio in black energy. When it cleared, they were gone.

* * *

"In other news, the Prime Minis…"

click, static

"…and let it simmer for two…"

click, static

"…and the crowd goes wild! He really…"

click, static

"…girl for me. I'm _so_ over Debra. Plea…"

click, static

"…right to fight back don't I? Don't ALL women?"

click, static

"…indigenous to this area…"

click, static

"The protozoids are attacking! Run for you lives!"

Robin sighed. He and Cyborg were watching T.V., and channel surfing was numbing his mind. There was no sign of Starfire, except for the odd explosion heard from her room every now and then, which Robin assumed had something to do with the "cultivation of the fungus" required for glorg.

Try as he might, he couldn't shake off this uneasiness. Something didn't feel right. And he couldn't help but feel it had something to do with Raven. He looked over at Cyborg, who appeared to be zoning out in front of the screen.

"Cyborg." No answer.

"Cyborg…hey, Cyborg! Tin Man, wake up!" yelled Robin, losing patience, since the technological teen didn't seem to have heard him.

Cyborg jumped to his feet, sonic cannon charged and ready.

"Huh? Say what?" he shouted, startled.

"Calm down, I was just trying to get your attention," growled Robin, uncrossing his legs, and sitting up straight on the couch. "Don't you think they should've been here by now? This rain can't be helping."

"Don't worry," replied Cyborg, the cannon transformed into his arm again. "I'm sure they're…"

He never finished his sentence. With a flash of light, a huge raven sprouted out of the floor and quickly dissipated into the immaterial, leaving three very wet teenagers in it's wake.

Raven didn't wait for a response. She quickly glided out the door before Robin or Cyborg could protest. They were both soon distracted, however, by a soft moan coming from a bundle in B.B.'s arms.

Terra sat on the floor, rubbing her head. She blearily opened her eyes. The male titans slowly came into view. "Good to see your okay" stated Robin smiling. "Way to go, I knew you'd come back!" hollered a grinning Cyborg. "Terra, how are ya feeling?" asked Beast Boy cautiously.

"I think I'm okay," answered Terra, finally. She got unsteadily to her feet, with some assistance. "Really, I'm fine." "Well, I can imagine your tired. If you want, you can go to sleep, and we can talk tomorrow," stated Robin.

"You sure she doesn't need to go to the med lab?" inquired Cyborg, lifting an eyebrow at the leader.

"Seriously, I feel fine," repeated Terra, raising her hands defensively. "I'm just a little tired."

"Yeah, lets let her sleep. C'mon Terra, I'll go with you to your room," offered Beast Boy, pulling her by her arm, toward the door.

When they were gone, Robin muttered quietly to Cyborg, "Keep her monitored. Friend or foe, we still don't know if we can trust her." He headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Cyborg curiously, watching the Boy Wonder head for the door. Robin turned, his mouth set grimly.

"To talk to Raven".

A/N: Whew, that was tiring, I hope it's longer this time. Don't forget to read and review, since reviews drown out annoying reprimands from teachers and parents alike! Hehehe…


	5. Is anger really pointless?

Robin stood in front of Raven's door. It looked about as welcoming as a tomb.

Inwardly, he sighed. He knew this wasn't going to be easy; confronting Raven about this Terra issue was about as inviting as dining with the Tamaranian royal family.

He sucked it up, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

Silence.

Frowning, he knocked again. Still no answer.

"Raven, it's me. Robin."

Surprisingly, he got an answer. "I know it's you. Who else could it be? Everybody else is probably sucking up to that traitor."

Robin's brow furrowed, immediately troubled by this unusual outburst. It didn't sound like Raven at all. Even her voice was slightly different, less monotonous and strangely more high pitched.

"Raven, that's not fair," stated Robin, shaking his head. "The others are just happy to see her. She was our friend. She was your friend too, you know."

At that, the door hissed open. Robin's jaw dropped.

Raven's hood was up, but her face was clearly tear stained and her eyes were swollen. Peeking into the room beyond, he saw several books scattered over the floor, a few strewn-out cloaks, the chest knocked over, with a suspiciously familiar and sinister white book poking out. The mirror was cracked as though someone had punched it, and various piles of broken glass and other objects littering the floor.

He looked down at Raven's hand, hearing a plip-plop sound, and saw drops of blood creating a pool on the floor. Raven attempted to pull back her hand, but Robin was too fast for her, and grabbed her arm. He examined her knuckles, which were torn and bloody.

"Oh, Raven…"

He looked at Raven in shock. She was trembling perceivably. Her gaze never left his; her expression was difficult to read.

Slowly, hesitantly, Robin reached out and pulled back her hood. The pain her eyes transmitted, the utter agony he observed from those shining violet windows, seemed to be coming from her very soul...

And yet, something else in that look defied help, desperately stemming the tide, striving to keep calm no matter what. The conflict produced a dismal result, and it was almost more than Robin's heart could stand.

"We better clean this up," he muttered, guiding her gently to the bathroom.

Raven did not protest; she seemed to have lost her fiery attitude. Stone silent, she let him lead her like a child, wash away the blood, and bandage her hand with the utmost care. He flinched whenever she let escape an unintended sound of pain, as though_ he_ were the one feeling it. If this did not escape her notice, she gave no sign of it; she remained as expressionless as she could.

When the wound was properly cleaned and dressed, they both made their way over to sit down on her bed, Robin stepping over the Happiness-Sadness Masks column, which was lying on it's side. Raven took off her cloak, which was stained with blood, and put on a fresh one, a tiny blush flitting across her cheeks as she did so.

She sat with her hands in her lap, and she stared at them as if they were the most interesting things since animated cartoons. She knew what was coming.

Robin broke the silence.

"Raven, what happened in here?" he asked quietly, but urgently.

Raven sighed, closing her eyes. "It's nothing. I just got a little…_upset_."

Robin eyed the disaster zone and said, "You got more than a little upset. I know this is about Terra…"

Raven winced at the name, and one of the few objects that remained untouched on her dresser exploded.

Unperturbed, Robin continued, "…and I want to help you. Please, tell me what's bothering you."

The sly voice echoed in Raven's head. _Why should you tell HIM? It's none of his business. He wouldn't understand, he'd just think your even creepier than he thought._

Raven shook her head, dispelling the distracting voice. It was starting to get annoying. She HAD to tell him, he wouldn't leave her alone until she did. And besides, Robin of all people would understand.

"I didn't want her to come back," she whispered.

"Why not?" Robin pressed, direct as ever.

Raven balled her hands into fists, wincing slightly, ignoring the pain shooting across her knuckles. "Because I dislike her, distrust her, and she tried to kill us."

"But then she sacrificed herself, to save everyone," Robin replied, wondering where this was going.

"Have you ever wondered why?" asked Raven roughly, turning towards the Boy Wonder. Robin was caught off guard by the question.

"Why would she give up being the apprentice of the controller of the city? A last minute, overzealous sense of justice?"

Raven's hands started shaking slightly. "I'll tell you why she did it; she didn't have a choice. She was cornered like the rat she is. We were after her, Slade turned on her, what more did she have to lose?"

"You don't know that," responded Robin simply. "I thought you disliked hasty assumptions."

Raven let out a growl of frustration. "I don't care why she did it! I told you," she said glaring accusingly at Robin. "I asked you, if you were sure it was safe to have her around."

The male titan vaguely recalled the incident before Slade's worm bots attempted to destroy Titan Tower, when Terra came back. "I thought you meant if she would put us in danger again with her powers," answered Robin, wondering uneasily where she was going with this.

"No! I saw it!" Raven yelled. "Before we went after Slade, I had a vision of her and Slade! I should have trusted my instincts. But I…I let myself be…_soothed_…by you, reassured by you." She heard the venom oozing from her voice, but she couldn't take it back now.

Robin narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Well, I'm _sorry_ I didn't understand what you meant," he uttered viciously. He couldn't believe Raven. Even when she was reprimanding herself, she managed to unconsciously blame him! "But how was I to know what you saw? You should have told me about this vision you had."

Raven gritted her teeth. "Why did she have to go to Slade in the first place?" she asked in a low voice, changing the subject.

Robin frowned at Raven, as though surprised. "She was looking for control. Obviously, she went to the wrong place. The strength of her powers scared her, and put others in danger. But I thought you of all people would understand what that feels like."

Robin regretted what he said almost as soon as he said it. He touched a nerve.

A tendril of black energy shot out and knocked him to the floor. Looking up, he saw a towering, angry Raven with four red eyes take the place of his best friend.

In the blink of an eye, the image was gone, almost as soon as it had formed. Raven was standing over him, eyes back to normal yet violent, glowering at him, panting slightly, as if fighting the urge to rip his head off. Robin was vividly reminded of Beast Boy, suffering from those chemically induced anger attacks.

"Don't you EVER COMPARE ME TO HER!" Raven roared at him. "I STRUGGLE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY FOR CONTROL! I HAVE TO MEDITATE EVERY DAY TO KEEP MY POWERS IN CHECK!"

Raven's form was enshrouded with black fire, and a slight wind was beginning to pick up...

"SOMETIMES I CAN'T PLAY VOLLEYBALL, OR ENJOY A SUNNY DAY, OR EVEN LAUGH! I PAY THE PRICE _EVERYDAY_ FOR WHAT I AM! I _HATE_ WHO I AM!"

Raven was nearly sobbing now, her voice choked.

"BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'LL TURN MY BACK ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER CARED ABOUT ME AND JOIN AN EVIL PSYCHOPATH TO MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY! WOULD YOU?"

A silence more deafening than Raven's shouts settled in the room. Robin slowly stood up. Sorrow was etched into every line of his face. He hated to see Raven, whom he cared so much about, in such a state of anger, in such a state of pain…

Suddenly, Raven cried out, falling to her knees, clutching her head. The fire around her quickly disappeared.

"Raven!" exclaimed Robin, hurrying to her side. He knelt down next to her. "Raven, what is it?"

Raven groaned and cried out in pain. "It's…happening…again…can't…control…it…!"

Raven scrunched up her eyes, and when she opened them again, they were a bright red color. "No!"

The books scattered over the floor began to soar through the air, creating a whirlwind around the two figures. The pieces of glass from the mirror and objects flew dangerously about, occasionally nicking and cutting into their flesh. Blue cloaks ascended and plummeted to the ground like indigo specters, while the black shadow slowly growing behind Raven expanded and expanded until it threatened to swallow her up.

Robin fought to control his panic, and rested his hands on Raven's shoulders. He shook her urgently. "Raven! Snap out of it! Raven, please, try and calm down!"

His words had no effect, the winds were growing stronger, until heavier objects began to move. In fact, the only thing that didn't move was the white book, poking out of the cavernous chest. Robin wrapped his arms around Raven, using his cloak to shield her from the dangerous debris.

"Raven," he murmured, swallowing back tears as he attempted to break the emotional wall the pit of darkness had hid herself behind.

"Raven…you don't have to fight anymore…I'm here now…I won't let you get hurt…_please_…come back…"

With an earsplitting gasp, the chaos evaporated. The books fell unceremoniously to the floor with loud thuds, as well as the other various objects that had been spinning around the room. Raven lay limp in Robin's arms, her head resting on his chest.

"Raven?" Robin asked desperately. He looked at her unconscious form. "Raven!"

With a groan, Raven slowly opened her eyes. She looked around her disastrous room with half closed eyes, and hugged Robin closer. She tried to utter something, but the words did not reach Robin's ears.

Perceiving she was scared and confused, he whispered reassuringly in her ear. "It's okay Raven…I'm here now…it's going to be okay…" were the last words she heard before everything went dark.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you go. Not much, but I wanted to post that quickly, since I came up with it a while ago. Thanks Insanity 101, I don't like Terra much either, but images in my sleep inspired this piece, so bear with me here. Of course Chocolat rocks, what could be better than Johnny Depp and chocolate in the same room together? Sounds like a slice of heaven. As for pairings, I'm not so sure, I'm not a great romantic writer, though I love romance. The first chapters were a little BBRae, I'll admit, though it was totally not my intention. This chapter speaks for itself. If there would be a pairing, I'd have to say some RobRae, I like that pairing a lot, thanks to you :). Anyways, gotta run.

Jambey


	6. Alone at Last

A/N: Well, this chapter is dedicated to Insanity 101, apparently the only person who reads anything I write! (hehehe). I guess I wasn't so bad at the romance thing, eh? Yeah, it was a pretty strong dream, I felt like I _had_ to do this. This is mainly the "heart" of this piece, since it finally reflects what Terra's feeling about this whole fiasco. Hope it goes down ok.

* * *

Terra and Beast Boy made their way slowly down the hall. More than once, Terra swayed with exhaustion, and the changeling was always there to steady her and give her a reassuring smile.

Lightning flashed outside, casting gloomy and eerie light on their countenances. They walked along in silence; once again, no words seemed necessary.

However, the peace did not last long. A door in front of them opened, and Starfire floated out, humming to herself. She was holding a bowl full of something that squelched horribly and made bubbly noises. She took one look at the pair and let out a squeal of delight.

"Terra! Oh, it is quite wonderful to see you alive and not made of stone!" she cried, racing toward the earth-shifter. Terra gritted her teeth and braced herself for impact.

"Wait!" screeched Beast Boy, turning into a hippopotamus between Terra and the approaching meteor. Starfire skid to a stop, narrowly missing the changeling. He turned back into his original form.

"Sorry Star," B.B. said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "It's just Terra's really tired now, and your hands are full of alien goo."

Starfire looked down at the goo and blushed, giggling. "Understood. I would not wish to see Terra covered in freshly squeezed glorg."

"I am elated to see you friend," she said warmly, turning to Terra. "Tell me, do you wish to ingest this meal that so aroused your interest before?"

"Uhh…thanks Starfire, but I'm not really hungry. I'd just like to rest now," Terra mumbled, eyes downcast.

Starfire looked crestfallen, but she quickly smiled and stated, "Of course; spending so much time as a statue must be quite tiring. Perhaps for breakfast, tomorrow?"

Terra nodded wordlessly and continued down the hall.

Beast Boy stared after her before following, shrugging at Starfire while lifting his hands.

A very put-out Starfire slowly made her way to the kitchen. A rare frown tugged at the Tamaranian's face. Something was not right here.

* * *

B.B. reached Terra's door first. They both stood before it. Fearing things would become awkward, he went ahead and made it so by giggling nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"So…this is your room…well…I guess I should get going…"

Terra didn't say anything.

Starting to worry about this continuous silence and feeling exasperated, Beast Boy exclaimed rather loudly, "Umm, are you SURE you're okay, Terra? Do you need anything?"

Terra seemed to catch the hint. She looked at Beast Boy as though seeing him for the first time, and said, "Sorry, Beast Boy. I'm a little out of it right now. I'm fine, I don't need anything. I just need some sleep."

Beast Boy sighed, defeated. "Well, if you need anything…"

His voice trailed off as Terra opened her door, stepped in, and closed it behind her without a glance back in his direction. In a matter much like Starfire, with drooping shoulders and ears, Beast Boy turned and made his way to his room for some well-deserved sleep.

* * *

Terra shut the door. She remained immobile in front of it. Alone at last. Long minutes passed, and the earth-shifter stayed standing in front of the door, staring into space. An almost unperceivable sigh escaped her lips.

With a jolt, her eyes suddenly snapped back into reality. She blinked several times, and took an unsteady step into the room. She looked around as though seeing it for the first time. She gazed at the stars painted on the walls, giving her the impression that she was outside.

Terra slowly lowered her gaze to the sofa in the middle of the room. She made her way over to it and sat down. The computer rested in front of her, the same computer she had used to send emails to Slade with secret information about the titans. And with that, it all came back.

* * *

The Titans took her in, _twice_. She saw their strengths and weaknesses. She planted hidden cameras and stole secret codes. Terra gave Slade the Titans on a silver platter.

Terra left them to be overwhelmed by sladebots. She attacked them while their guard was down, cruising in the T-Car.

Terra's stomach churned with self-disgust as she remembered how she provoked Raven into uncontrollable anger, and then heartlessly "drowned" her in the mud. She violently shook her head, attempting to erase the image of Raven's four red eyes turning to two normal ones once again as she gasped for breath…

The earth-shifter grit her teeth as she remembered more things. She had been aiming for Robin; why did Starfire step in the way? She had laughed with evil pleasure at the time, but now she could only rest her head in her hands, and sob softly. How could she have harmed Starfire? It was like hurting a puppy.

_A puppy with starbolts and alien strength_, Terra thought, with a weak smile.

It vanished as she pondered about Cyborg. He had done her no harm; didn't he even apologize before trying to blast her with his sonic cannon?

The same ran for Robin; he tried to save her, and all he received was a huge rock in his face. But it wasn't until she remembered Beast Boy that her eyes filled with tears.

Beast Boy…he took her in, invited her to stay...

"But he lied to me!" she exclaimed out loud, partially standing up. "He told them…after I made him swear not to!"

_But he said he didn't_, she thought. Maybe he hadn't lied...

She groaned with agony as realization hit her; Robin was trained to see subtleties, did he really need someone to tell him she couldn't fully control her powers? Beast Boy _hadn't_ been lying. And then she…

Hot tears streaked down her face freely now, and she desperately clutched her head with her hands. She couldn't get the image of his face, of his incredulous eyes, out of her head…

"Terra, you _can't_."

The _look_ in his eyes, shocked, unbelieving, but above all so _hurt_! It was almost more than she could stand.

Terra sprang to her feet, and with a wild cry grabbed the laptop and threw it into the wall. It crashed and broke into several pieces. She stayed glaring at it, breathing hard from the sudden exertion. After all he had done for her, even after she was turned to stone…

Terra blanched, turning a deathly pale. No, she didn't want to remember, not **now**.

She hurried to the bed, feeling sick. She lay down, curling up into a fetal position. Her breathing became shallow, and her eyes widened with fear. There was no hiding from it, no running from _this_…as hard as she tried no to, she remembered…

* * *

Sometimes it was dark, sometimes it wasn't. It became hard to tell the difference after a while. It wasn't your everyday night-time dark either; it was darkness black as pitch, seemingly tangible, like a covering, smothering and suffocating you until you gasped for breath. Though this was bad, the other times were worse.

Other times, all you could see was a deep, sickly yellow color, near brown, with flashes of green, blue, and red, like stars or sequins. If you closed you eyes and pressed the butt of your hands into them vigorously, you could have an idea of what it looked like, except then it was much worse, because it was constant, unwavering. The swirling designs and patterns made you sick to your stomach if you looked at them for too long. An inevitable event.

But whether in dark or dizziness, there was **one** constant: a slit in the void, a small space, where you could see the real world, through the statue's eyes. But this void was ever-shrinking, always getting smaller, and it took all of the earth-shifter's mental will to keep it open, to prevent it from getting too miniscule or disappearing altogether. Somehow, in the back of her mind, she sensed that if she let the space fade, she would be trapped forever.

Thus did Terra live and spend the months in her encasement, if you could call that living. She did not sleep. She had no need for food. As a matter of fact, she had no awareness of a physical body anymore.

How much time had passed was impossible for her to gauge. It might have been years, or five minutes, but after a while, Terra was hit with the frightening concept that this was what had always _been_, that there was nothing beyond the interchanging black and bright scenarios.

And yet there was. Amid all this horror, one thing shone for her like a beacon of hope. His name was Beast Boy.

She couldn't have expressed her immediate joy and terrible dismay when the Titans came to give their final farewells. Terra was glad to see them, and ecstatic when Raven spoke of some kind of reversal of the effect of the stone imprisonment.

Yet happiness was soon smothered as the Titans walked away.

"We'll bring her back…someday."

Someday? What someday? She was alive, she was here! If she could have, she would have laid down and cried.

But Beast Boy didn't leave her. He wouldn't give up hope. He visited her many times, always telling her how things were going, and expressing how he missed her. If only she could tell him how he was helping her! Terra knew in her heart that the only reason she had survived was because of Beast Boy. She wouldn't give up while he believed in her. Not by a long shot.

When he spoke those immortal words, "I forgive you", that had been the turning point. She felt her heart would burst. The earth-shifter concentrated every ounce of sheer will, empowered by those words, and fought back the darkness. Slowly, but surely, it crept back until she could feel the change over her whole body. The stone melted away, and without it's support she almost fell. And he was there to make sure she was okay, and would not fall.

* * *

Terra bit her lip to keep from screaming. So much pain, so much suffering…she had caused that amount, so she had earned that amount.

She squeezed her pillow between her hands, trying to stop the hurt. How could she have been so cold, so heartless? And yet, after all that had happened, the Titans still took her in once more. It was hardly believable.

Trembling, she sat up and tried once more to tear off the dreaded apprentice uniform. To her surprise, it slipped of quite easily. _Slade must truly be gone_, she thought thankfully. With a sudden burst of energy, she rushed to her closet and pulled on an oversized black T-shirt. She returned to her bed, and slipped under the covers.

As soon as her head hit the pillow, she drifted off into an uneasy sleep, filled with dreams of falling. Terra hated that sensation; she liked solid earth beneath her feet. Yet she was tormented even in her sleep by nightmares of plunging into darkness…


	7. Nightmarish realities

A/N: Yay! I got some more reviews! I feel so happy! (grins widely). Unfortunately, I have developed a rather unrelenting appetite for reviews (struggles to be heard over growling stomach) that must be satisfied. So read and review to fill my stomach! (hehehe). Wow, I never imagined people being so sorry for Terra. Unfortunately, that was only a taste of what's to come.

hermioneandterrastwin16: Thank you :), I rather liked writing this chapter.

crystalicios: Thanks. Well, she kinda did deserved it, she did a lot of damage before. My story sounds like a cheap soap opera? Ouch, harsh…

teentitantruefriend: Yeah it was. No, wait, don't go! At least leave another review before you go! (hehehe). You better save some of them tears, though, you might need them later on.

The Esperandote: Thanks a lot, I'll try to keep it good so you'll keep reading!

Insanity 101: Strange but true! Hehehe, I truly thought you would still rant about her crushing Robin (still not a nice thing to do). Thanks, I tried to think of something really harsh, I had to rub my eyes a lot to be able to describe it effectively. Me neither, I'd probably be sick after 5 minutes. But it's true, you usually get what you dish out so…nice to hear you forgave her, but there's a bit more suffering to go around. Thanks so much :)

Well, here goes:

* * *

Cyborg stretched his arms over his head with a tired groan. It had been a long night, and it looked far from over. The lack of movement was making his joints rusty. He rubbed his human eye, wondering whether yet another power boost wouldn't do him some good.

He stared at the screen in front of him. Whatever Robin had been thinking of, he, Cyborg, hadn't been prepared for this. The half-robot didn't know _what_ to expect anymore.

As if on cue, he heard a firm knock on his door. With a sigh, he stood up to answer it. The face on the other side, however, wasn't the one Cyborg expected to see.

Starfire stared at him from the doorway, her usual bright smile no where in sight. She looked slightly worried, and she had tired lines around her usually sparkling eyes.

"Star? What are you doing here? It's pretty late," asked Cyborg, surprised.

"I am afraid I am not able to sleep," responded Starfire tiredly. "I felt that perhaps you might be awake, and I wonder if perhaps we might, 'chat'?"

Cyborg smiled at the Tamaranian's politeness. "Sure, Star, I'm not getting much sleep either." He carefully omitted the fact that that was because he had a job to do. "Come on in."

Starfire stepped into the room. It was vaguely illuminated, most of the light emanating from the computer screen. Cyborg produced another chair, and they sat down.

"So, what's on your mind?" asked Cyborg, cautiously stifling a yawn.

Starfire hesitated. "I do not know where to begin. I am feeling a bit…_troubled_…about the arrival of friend Terra."

Cyborg felt a sudden jolt; was it merely coincidence that Starfire was experiencing the same feelings as Robin? "What do you mean, troubled?" he asked warily.

"Terra does not seem to be herself. She seems oblivious to everything around her. I admit that I can not formulate any opinion about being frozen in stone," Starfire added hastily, "and yet I worry…"

"She must be exhausted, Star," argued Cyborg. "You said it yourself, none of us have been a statue before. She'll probably be more herself tomorrow."

"Terra's behavior is not the only thing that distresses me. I am worried about how her return will affect life in our home," said Starfire quietly.

Cyborg was taken aback. He had never heard Starfire speak so seriously. He had seen her frantic several times, usually when Robin or another titan was in danger. But the fact that Starfire, the most naïve and innocent of the team, was discussing seriously the Titans' welfare scared him a little. Things were serious.

"What are you talking about, Star?" he asked, playing dumb.

Starfire sighed patiently. "You remember the manner in which Beast Boy reacted when Terra attacked us, yes? He was willing to argue with anyone in order to defend her. And we all know friend Raven's feelings about the matter. She has made them quite clear."

Both of them turned away at this, recalling their teammate's anger and pain.

"I see your point," said Cyborg. "But I wouldn't worry too much about it. Raven didn't seem upset when Terra showed up just now."

Starfire fixed Cyborg with a pointed stare. "Raven never _seems_ anything. She has long ago learned to conceal her emotions. It is up to us to interpret her _actions_."

Cyborg recoiled from her look. Starfire had a point; what a stupid, unfeeling thing to say.

"Don't worry, Star. You, me, and Robin will keep the peace in the Tower. Everything will be fine," stated Cyborg assuredly, standing up. He felt no desire to tell Starfire about his conversation with Robin; why should the Tamaranian's feelings of joy and hope be trampled on as his had been by the Boy Wonder? She seemed to have enough on her mind as it was.

Starfire remained unconvinced. "Are you certain?"

"I'm positive," replied Cyborg kindly.

Starfire rubbed her upper left arm with her right hand and sighed. "I apologize for keeping you in the upward direction. What were you doing before I interrupted you?" she asked sweetly, childlike curiosity returning.

Cyborg adored that look in her eyes when she asked a question, but knew he'd never have as much patience as Robin to answer all her interrogations. He had no idea where the team would be without her.

Cyborg gestured at the computer. "I was keeping tabs on Terra. She seems to be fine, physically anyway."

Starfire gazed at the image of Terra sleeping relatively soundly. Occasionally, though, the earth-shifter would toss and turn, moving her head from side to side, muttering incoherent words.

Starfire looked back at Cyborg. "Has she been asleep for a long time?"

"Oh yeah. As soon as she reached her room, she was out like a light," Cyborg lied smoothly. He didn't want Starfire to know what he had seen.

"I see. I believe I am ready for another attempt at the sleeping. Good night, friend Cyborg," stated Starfire, heading for the door. "Pleasant slorvaks."

"Uhh, yeah. Same here," replied Cyborg hurriedly. As soon as the Tamaranian left the room, he let out a pent-up sigh. That had been close.

The cybernetic teen turned and sat down in front of the computer. He pressed the rewind button on the screen and waited for the appropriate spot. He pressed play and watched the screen closely, replaying the footage he had seen before:

Terra entered the room and closed the door. She stayed there for many minutes, until she walked over to the sofa. Cyborg watched, puzzled. He didn't feel comfortable doing what he was doing, but he knew it was for the safety of everyone in the Tower.

When he had seen her start to cry the first time, he felt bad for invading her privacy. Her vitals were stable, maybe he should just turn the camera off? 

_No_, he had reprimanded himself. Robin told him to keep her monitored, and that was what he was going to do.

But nothing had prepared him for what came next. Terra suddenly leaped up and hurled her computer into the wall. Cyborg pressed pause, rewound the tape, and zoomed in on Terra's facial expression. He saw the action again.

Once again he rewound it, and put it in slow motion. He observed Terra's sad expression, saw the tears leak down her face, and then slowly, but surely, saw her features distort into a hideous rage and her eyes fall upon the doomed object.

Cyborg furrowed his brow; what had caused that sudden outburst? He pressed a few keys on the keyboard. "Elevated heart rate, adrenaline levels skyrocketing…what put her under so much stress?"

He fast-forwarded the tape a little bit, watching her lie trembling on her bed. It was at this point that her brain chemical levels were most irregular. "Memories, maybe?" pondered Cyborg out loud. Difficult to tell.

He turned off the screen when she started to get changed. After a few minutes, he turned it on again and saw her fast asleep. And he had been keeping an eye on her like that until Starfire had knocked on the door.

Cyborg sighed and put the screen on alert. If anything changed, he would be notified. He sighed again for about the millionth time that night and rubbed his face with his cool metal hand. Robin and Starfire worried, Beast Boy ecstatic and oblivious to it all, Terra deeply troubled, and Raven…

"What the heck is going on?"

* * *

Raven looked around frantically. Where were the other Titans? Slade was coming after them, she had to warn them! She tried to fly, but failed, for some strange reason. She walked through a dark tunnel; the Titan's were no where in sight.

Raven's breath came in heavy gasps as she broke into a run. The loneliness was unbearable; where _was_ everybody?

"Looking for someone, my dear?" asked a cruel, cold voice.

She skidded to a stop. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. She couldn't face him alone…she would never be able to defeat him on her own…

"I'm afraid you cannot defeat me alone or otherwise," said that familiar, cold voice smoothly. "And in this case, it's six against one."

As though someone flipped a switch, the area Raven was in was suddenly flooded with light. She used her cape to shield her eyes, but when she pulled it away, she wished she had been blinded. Raven's amethyst eyes widened with unspeakable shock and fear; her heart beat uncomfortably against her heaving ribs.

The scene before her was one she would never have been prepared to face. Slade stood in front of her, smirking casually. On his right stood Terra, wearing her apprentice uniform complete with Slade's emblem on her chest. She was hovering on a huge block of earth. Her arms were crossed and she gazed contemptuously at Raven. It was a look she remembered well.

Next to her floated Starfire, purple skirt and shirt exchanged for a copper and black shirt, framed with steel, and a black miniskirt with black boots. The emerald stones were replaced with ebony ones. There was no sweet smile, no shining eyes; the expression in them was beyond loathing; had it not been for the context of the situation, Raven might not have recognized the alien in front of her.

On Slade's other side stood Cyborg, who appeared to have added quite a few weapons to his arsenal, including several missiles and lasers. His usually blue, glowing, metal body parts now shone blood red. There was no warm smile for Raven now; his face was as hard as stone. He, too, carried the dreaded S on his chest. His sonic cannon-turned-cannon launcher was humming as it charged with red energy, ready to blast her to oblivion.

Next to him, Beast Boy crouched, snarling viciously at her. The purple in his uniform was replaced with copper, his boots were spiked and his belt bore the common symbol. His eyes were not those of a human being, but those of an animal, chained up and foaming at the mouth, desperate to be set loose to maim and kill.

But the thing that made Raven catch her breath, the thing that made sweat pour down her brow, the thing that threatened to make her lose her lunch, was standing slightly in front of Slade. There stood Robin; no, there stood Slade's true apprentice.

He wore the feared black and copper outfit, the one Raven had never wanted to see again. His mask was no longer pleasant, if it ever had been, but slightly curved at the ends, like those of a hawk, of a predator threatening to feast on who-so-dared step in its path when it felt the urge to feast on blood. And prominent on his chest was the horrid insignia of destruction and death, the angular S that stood for all the evils in the world.

Raven felt tears stinging her eyes. "Robin…"

Slade's apprentice threw a gadget and blasted her off her feet. She crashed into the ground, dull pain exploding in the back of her head as it banged against the ground. She looked up blearily to see the dark figure with the predator mask aim a laser blaster at her face. His lips curled up in a cruel sneer.

"Robin isn't here anymore. No one can save you now."

A shining red light, a loudly beating heart, screams of pain…

* * *

Raven's eyes flashed open, she sat bolt upright and screamed with a fear not known to most people. Robin's eyes snapped open at the sound, and he was at Raven's side in a flash. "Raven!"

She breathed heavily, beads of sweat pouring down her forehead, though she made no move to wipe them away. She desperately wrung her bed sheets within her fiercely clenched hands, and stared unseeingly forward.

Robin vainly attempted to calm himself down; Raven's scream had left him rattled. He hesitantly tried to lay a hand on Raven's shoulder.

Immediately, a black shield projected itself, separating him from his friend, and she scooted away from him on the bed. Robin tried to make sense of what he was seeing; was Raven looking at _him_ with that much fear? What had he done? What had she seen?

"Raven…calm down…whatever you saw a minute ago, it was just a nightmare. I'm here to help you, Raven," he stated softly, slipping his hand into hers before she could pull away, soothingly massaging and caressing it.

Raven continued to stare at him fearfully, though she very slowly calmed her breathing and regained control of her powers. The shield dropped. Finally, Raven teared her eyes away, and looked fixedly at her hands.

At length, she said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You had a nightmare. After what happened before, it's understandable," said Robin gently.

Raven vigorously rubbed her face with her hands, trying to make sense of the jumbled thoughts in her head. For some reason, she couldn't stop a blush from grazing her cheeks.

"Robin?" she began to ask, hesitantly.

"Yes? What is it?"

"Will you, will you please, stay with me? I really don't want to be alone right now."

The smallness of her voice surprised even her. She felt like such a child; why had she asked him such a thing? Despite the fear still coursing through her veins, regret and humiliation made her grimace and she refused to look at him.

To her surprise, Robin's strong arms wrapped her in a comforting hug before she could say or do anything. She felt her heart skip a beat.

"Of course I'll stay. You'll never be alone if you don't want to be."

They parted. She managed to smile weakly at him, and settled herself under the covers once more, swearing to herself to never show such weakness ever again. She pretended to be falling asleep; the Boy Wonder looked dead on his feet, and though he didn't mention it, she was sure he had been asleep when she had woken up.

Robin brought his chair closer to her bedside and sat down once more, giving her still form a reassuring smile before steadily nodding off. She stared at the opposite wall; she was certain she wouldn't be getting more sleep tonight.

* * *

A/N: Aww, I didn't want to leave it here, but this chapter is pretty long as it is, and I can't add much more right now. So, read and tell me what you think!


	8. When troubled girls act normal

A/N: Okeydokey, it's time to install some more or less normal life in the tower. Not much action in this chapter. Don't worry: it won't last long. This chapter was written in loving memory of Daphne, my pet bird, who unfortunately died last Thursday. Am really sad about it.

LaughingRanna: Thanks! I caught onto that pairing after reading a story called _Aftereffects_ by Insanity 101. Truly a must-read if you like RaeRob and the whole Slade affair, it's in my favorite stories list, go read it!

Jurodan: System must have been on the fritz. Nice to know someone's following it…hehehe. I try my best to avoid them. Thank you :)

Insanity 101: Slade's influence is enough to leave a lasting affect on _anyone_. Unfortunately, the suit's not to blame. I think you'll agree being stuck in that prison was horrible enough. About the dream…you'll find out soon enough. Aw c'mon, don't go all fluffy on me! (hehehe). Fugghedaboutit. One order for more torture, coming up!

Ok, here goes:

* * *

The entire room was dark; it was _always_ dark. And yet somehow, Raven could always tell when morning had come and night had fled the scene. The Azarathian could feel the feeble light of the room fighting to penetrate her firmly shut eyelids, but she resisted the urge to open them. _Five more minutes_, she thought weakly. _Just give me_…

Raven frowned, eyes still resolutely shut. There was something she was forgetting, something important...

With a gasp, she forced her eyes open and looked around her.

Her room was still a mess, but it was clear someone had attempted to tidy things up. Her chest was upright again, though still open, and piles of books were stacked against the wall, as though whoever had put them there didn't have a clue about their original location. Some piles of glass were huddled together near the vanity. As she looked upon it, she winced, taking in the cracked mirror and recalling the sharp pain in her right hand. Thank God she had left her enchanted mirror locked up in a drawer for safekeeping.

Raven rubbed her head sleepily. So much for being certain she wouldn't sleep…although exactly when she had dropped off amid the haunting images of the evil Titans floating around in her mind was impossible for her to recall.

She suddenly looked up, and turned her head instinctively to the left. _Oh God…how could I forget…?_

To her left sat the Boy Wonder, head drooping over the back of the chair in which he sat, arms hanging limply at his sides, fingertips nearly grazing the floor. His mouth was slightly open, and Raven observed, with no small amount of amusement and slight disgust, a small trickle of drool trailing from the corner of his mouth to the outline of his jaw.

Raven sat there for a while, just staring at him. It was certainly odd to catch a glimpse of her fearless leader without that furrow in his brow, to see the hard lines usually present on his young face smoothed by the ignorance of sleep that "knits up the raveled sleeve of care", as Shakespeare so accurately put it.

_Care that you stupidly caused_, spat that annoying voice in the back of her head.

Raven flinched inwardly. She looked at Robin again. Robin almost never slept; he must have been exhausted last night, and yet he stayed with her. Raven felt a pang of guilt as she remembered last night's events. She had simply overreacted, that was all. It was so unlike her, she thought, cringing. And Robin was so worried…

Raven mentally slapped herself, her cheeks scarlet. Was that a twinge of _pleasure_ she felt just now? How could she be happy that Robin had been upset?

"Because it proves he cares," she said to herself. She roughly pushed that thought away. No, nothing was worth hearing that concern and sadness in his voice, nothing was worth that pained expression on his face.

A different emotion invaded her now. She blushed with embarrassment as she remembered how helpless she had sounded. 

_"Will you please stay with me? I really don't want to be alone right now…" _Ughh, what the hell was that? Raven scowled darkly. She had sounded like some kind of two-year old, afraid of the monsters under her bed, nothing like the team's pit of darkness. Definitely not something she wanted others to see.

The Azarathian grit her teeth and clenched the bed sheets until her knuckles turned white. She ignored the stab of pain in her bandaged hand. No, she would _not_ be a victim, not again…

Decisively, she swung her legs out of bed, stood up, and strode over to her closet. Ignoring the ones on the floor, she pulled out a fresh, unwrinkled cloak and clasped it around her shoulders. She hesitated for one minute as she turned to Robin's sleeping form, but, with renewed intention, she laid a hand on his shoulder and gently shook it. The sooner he left, the better.

Robin muttered sleepily, the ever-present furrow returning to his brow as he slowly regained consciousness. He lifted his head slightly, and Raven's face swam into view. For about five seconds, they both stared at each other, Robin with a groggy expression on his face and Raven with an eyebrow lifted inquisitively.

Then the reality of the situation hit Robin like a sledgehammer. He snapped up to his feet, conspicuously rubbing the drool from his cheek off his face with his wrist and straightening his mask.

He looked over at Raven and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that…must have dozed off…" He put a hand on her shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

Raven both loathed and cherished the feeling of his hand on her shoulder. She quickly shoved certain feelings away. If she was to persuade Robin that nothing was amiss, now was the time.

"I'm fine," she uttered, her expression quintessentially blank.

Now it was Robin's turn to lift a curious eyebrow. "Are you sure?" He removed his hand from her shoulder and scratched his head. "Because last night was…"

"Last night was nothing. I just got a little carried away, it happens sometimes." She strived to sound as casual as she could muster.

Robin looked around the still disastrous room, surprised.

"But your dream," he said, gesturing confusedly with his hands. "I could tell it scared the hell out of you. You wouldn't let me come near you."

"We all have nightmares. You said it yourself, it was understandable I had one after I lost control of my powers." Raven awkwardly strived to sound casual, cursing herself silently for doing such a poor job.

"Thanks for helping with my room a bit, though." Raven attempted to use as annoyed a tone as possible without being too insulting. He shouldn't even really be here, afterall.

Robin still looked uncertain. "Uh, you're welcome. Do-do you want to tell me what it was about? The dream, I mean."

Raven stared at him, arms crossed, poker face intact. "I don't remember."

Robin looked intently at Raven. Slowly, he lowered his arms. His face betrayed no emotion. For what seemed like forever, the Boy Wonder gazed silently at Raven. The pit of darkness squirmed slightly under his gaze; she felt like she was being X-rayed. What the heck was going on behind that impassive black and white mask?

Finally, when Raven felt she couldn't take it any longer, Robin said, "Okay. Whatever you say, Raven. We can keep talking about this Terra issue later. Don't forget to sweep up that broken glass." He turned his back and left the room before she could say a word.

Raven stood stock-still in the middle of her chamber. She uncrossed her arms. She was shocked at how easily Robin had left. She didn't know whether she felt like sighing with relief or crying with regret. Did this mean he wanted to respect her wishes of being alone, or did it mean he didn't give a damn, that he was just fulfilling his duty as leader?

In the end she decided to do neither. Raven set to work, gathering up abandoned cloaks strewn over the floor. She suppressed the scream of frustration struggling to escape her. She didn't need his help; she could handle this on her own.

* * *

Robin heard the door hiss shut behind him. He bowed his head; whatever he had expected to happen before he had knocked last night, he never imagined he would be faced with this.

Raven was lying; she was hiding something, that much was certain. Whatever it was, it was obviously causing her a grand amount of suffering.

"Why?" Robin muttered angrily, sullenly, staring at the ground. "Why do you always have to shoulder every burden alone, Raven? _Why_?" 

_"I'm fine…last night was nothing."_

"No dice, Raven," muttered the Boy Wonder under his breath, as he made his way, cape fluttering, down the hall to his room. "I'm not going away without a fight. You're getting my help, whether you like it or not."

* * *

Terra slowly opened her eyes. Sunlight fell across her face as the morning peeked in through her curtains. Try as she might to prevent it, a new day had come.

She shut her eyes, hoping against hope that she was wrong, that she wasn't there and had never existed. But she quickly opened them again. A tortured existence was better than a slumber of descents into darkness.

She sat up in bed, and rubbed her sleep-clouded eyes. Terra felt the rare sensation of skin against her eye lids and realized that she wasn't wearing her gloves. She reached over to the bed stand for them and slipped them on automatically, wearing them out of habit.

As the sleep slowly drained from her mind, Terra gazed at her room once more. This time she actually took in her surroundings.

The Titans had painted her room with a rocky background and a purple-black hued sky, alight with stars. It reminded her of all her nights outside, sleeping under the stars. She had seen it everyday for months, but for some reason, she couldn't take her eyes of it now.

_They must have cared a lot about me_, Terra realized, _if they went through all that trouble to make me feel comfortable here in the Tower._

She shook her head as a sigh of guilt and regret racked through her. There had been enough guilt last night. Today, she should just focus on acting as normally as possible. She at least owed them that much.

Terra hopped out of bed and went straight to the bathroom for a wash. As soon as she was done, wringing out her hair, she headed to her closet. She pulled out her uniform. _I must have looked so cocky,_ she thought, _showing up here with my own uniform made. Especially to Raven._ She shivered as she imagined her next encounter with the Azarathian. What would she say? Terra didn't want to contemplate such a dangerous situation just yet.

As she pulled on the soft, clean uniform, Terra grimaced. Despite the hot shower she just took, she felt dirty wearing it; it was like putting on a gala dress after running a 20 mile race. She didn't deserve it.

Terra sighed as she slipped on her boots and clasped her utility belt. After staring at it for a while, she decided she wanted to get rid of it; it looked too much like Slade's. _He designed it, after all…_

With that last unpleasant thought ringing in her head, she pressed the button that opened the door, mentally trying to impress only one thought in her skull: _act normal_.

* * *

A/N: Once again, I didn't want it to end here, but you might get bored with so much info, so I'll save a bit for later. Sorry for the lack of action. Don't forget to review, reviews are one of the few things that keep my head screwed on straight! (hehehe). Tootles,

Jambey


	9. Apology after breakfast

A/N: Just a few responses this time.

teentitantruefriend: Hey, you came back! Hehehe, yeah, but it's not like she wasn't asking for it. I'll do my best.

LaughingRanna: Beats me, not one in my vocabulary anyway (hehehe). Cool, that's what I was hoping for. Don't worry, it'll come.

benny2000: Well, pairings aren't exactly the main focus of the story, but I'm afraid I'm rather more inclined toward RobRae. Thanks, gives me the creeps just thinking about 'em.

Insanity101: Hehehe, yeah I figured it was something like that. And here I just thought the review alerts didn't like me (shakes hotmail inbox-folder upside down angrily, moth flies out). Thanks, I had a bird before called Callypso, but she flew out my window. I guess I'm not very lucky when it comes to pets. Lol, well, all the descriptions of him snoozing I've ever read were so serious, I thought "Hey, lets make it a little lighter to brighten up the chapter". Boy Wonders have salivary glands too, you know! Don't worry, you'll get 'em both.

Okeydokey, here goes:

* * *

Beast Boy hurriedly stirred his tofu eggs. His eyes were slightly narrowed and his tongue was poking out in concentration. The chef hat leaned dangerously forward over his forehead. His apron was splotched and stained in several places. The eggs sizzled. They had to be just right today.

He paused for a moment to look around the room. The only other person in the kitchen was Starfire, in similar attire, messing with some yellow, jiggly, whatever-it-was. It was obvious she was trying to make it perfect, however yellow masses of jello with things in them _could_ be perfect.

B.B. looked over at the sofa. Robin and Cyborg were sitting on it, but surprisingly the Gamestation controllers lay untouched. Both had their heads bent in serious conversation, and they occasionally turned around to make sure the other two were still busy.

On any other occasion, Beast Boy's curiosity would have gotten the better of him, and he would be begging to be included in the conversation. However, at the moment all that mattered was that this breakfast turned out great.

He turned over the bacon, making sure it wasn't burnt.

_Terra'll probably be super hungry when she wakes up_, he thought. B.B, chuckled to himself. She was ALWAYS super hungry.

He shot a nervous glance toward Starfire, who was viciously smashing something in a box with a mallet that sounded suspiciously as though it were alive.

_Maybe she liked it, but I'm sure as hell not gonna touch any Tamaranian food_, he added as an afterthought.

While Beast Boy and Starfire prepared their "breakfast feast", Cyborg discussed with Robin what he had seen last night.

"I'm telling you man, she just blew a fuse! And then she just went and lay down for a while, staring into space. Seriously, it was not a pretty sight."

"What do you think caused such a reaction?" asked Robin in a low voice, glancing toward the kitchen to make sure Beast Boy was still focused on his tofu eggs.

"I'm not sure. Whatever she was thinking about, it drove her heart rate up and activated her "fight or flight" response. I'm guessing she was in some major panic."

Robin narrowed his eyes, rubbing his chin with his index finger. "Well, we still can't rule out some sort of trap. We'll have to talk to her about what happened and check out how she responds. We can't assume anything yet."

As if on cue, the door to the main room opened, and Terra walked in. She had discarded her apprentice garb, and was once again dressed in her black and yellow Titan uniform. She looked a bit tired, but other than that unscathed.

Beast Boy and Starfire's eyes lit up.

"Terra!" they exclaimed at the same time.

"You're awake!"

"Glorious!"

"Heh, yeah guys. I'm up," answered Terra, smiling hesitantly.

Cyborg stood up. "How are ya feeling?"

Terra looked over at the couch. "Just fine. I slept like a rock," she replied cheerfully.

Robin shot a fleeting look at Cyborg. He stood up also. "Up for some breakfast? I think you have enough to last you all morning."

"Uh, yeah, sure," she uttered, gawking at the food laden table. "Why not?"

Beast Boy rushed forward and grabbed Terra's arm, dragging her toward the counter while Starfire eagerly pushed from behind. It wasn't long before she was settled, with plates piled with tofu eggs, bacon and glorg tottering before her. The two "chefs" stood proudly over there work, complete with chef hats and aprons, grinning broadly. Terra sweat dropped anime style.

The Titans sat down to eat, Cyborg muttering something about alien food and tofu crap before sitting down with a plate full of ham he and Robin had prepared for themselves.

They began to eat in silence; most of them were too busy chewing to make conversation, others, namely Cyborg and Robin, merely speechless at certain members' table manners.

Robin noted a certain Titan's absence but refrained from comment; the others seemed not to have noticed, and he knew she was probably still cleaning her room. The Boy Wonder noticed Terra looking around a few times too, as though she had also perceived Raven's absence, but then she would soon after resume the consumption of her meal and say nothing each time. Robin narrowed his masked eyes.

Beast Boy and Starfire ate ravenously, constantly asking Terra how everything tasted. The earth-shifter tried her best to eat and act normally, and assured them their feast was fabulous.

"Seriously B.B.," said Terra laughing after Beast Boy asked for the third time if her food had been warm enough. "Everything tastes awesome. It's been a while since I had anything in my stomach…"

She trailed of at this, smile disappearing as she dropped her gaze to her plate and picked at the remains of her food.

Robin took that as his cue to start his questioning. Everybody appeared to have finished breakfast, and Starfire had already volunteered to clear the table.

"So, Terra. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind talking a bit about…what happened." He clasped his hands on the table and carefully studied Terra's features.

Terra looked uncomfortable. "Uh, well…yeah, sure, I guess," she said, rubbing her upper arm with a gloved hand. She paused for a moment, and sighed.

"Look, before anything else, I just wanted to say…_I'm sorry."_

"I'm sorry I betrayed you. I know that what I did was horrible, and I wish I could take it back, but I can't."

She stared fixedly at the table's polished surface, her eyes unseeing, her hands clenched into fists.

"I don't think I can forgive myself for putting your lives in danger, after you had taken me in and offered me to be a member of your team. Offered me a _home_."

Terra squeezed her eyes shut tiredly. "And I just hope that you can forgive me, and believe me when I say that I didn't mean anything I said or did before, even if it didn't seem that way. I was cowardly and scared. I thought Slade wanted to help me."

Robin flinched at the mention of the villain's name.

"I thought that I was all alone, that no one else could ever help me or want to be my friend. I was wrong. Please forgive me," she finished quietly. "Please…_Prove me wrong_."

The Titans gaped at Terra, clearly surprised by this little speech. Starfire's emerald eyes filled with tears, and she fought to suppress a sob. Robin and Cyborg merely stared, mouths slightly opened, evidently at a loss for words.

Beast Boy, however, didn't hesitate. He immediately stood up, and enveloped Terra in a warm embrace. Terra's eyes widened in shock.

"Of course we forgive you, Terra," murmured Beast Boy in a thick voice. "You saved us, saved the city."

He let her go and looked at her affectionately. "You made a choice, for the greater good of everyone. You totally rocked!" he finished, pumping his fist in the air with a flourish.

"Yes, friend! Beast Boy is correct, you were astounding and worthy of admiration!" piped Starfire, wrapping Terra in a long-avoided bone-crushing hug. Terra said nothing, though the lack of oxygen was making her lightheaded.

"But what happened? Why were you turned to stone?" urged Robin gently.

Terra turned away and stared out the window. "I'm not really sure. I used all the power I could to try and contain the lava in the earth. My powers stretched out of my control, which created enough energy to successfully cool the magma into stone again, but..."

Terra felt a tear escape down her cheek, unnoticed by the others, "…in doing so, turned me to stone as well."

The Titans stood silently, staring at the earth-shifter. There was a momentary pause. Then Robin asked softly, "How did you escape?"

Terra looked at the leader of the team for a moment before turning away again.

"It took a while. I'm not sure how long I was in there, but I was fighting it the whole time. It seems the only thing that wasn't frozen solid was my mind. There's not much to tell. It just…took a lot of concentration."

Though her answer was very vague, the Titans couldn't help but believe her. Even Robin had almost no doubt of her intentions now.

"Hey, don't sweat it Terra. The important thing is that you're okay and that we can keep being a team," said Cyborg reassuringly, placing a large hand on her skinny shoulder.

Terra's eyes widened with surprise. "Do you mean…?"

Robin nodded in concurrence, arms crossed and smiling. "Yes, you're still a member of the Teen Titans."

Terra's expression was difficult to read. She blinked several times, before casting her eyes down again.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much."

Robin stared at her and didn't respond.

"I think this calls for a match of superhero volleyball!" announced Cyborg proudly.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Beast Boy.

"Wonderful!" cried Starfire, giggling madly.

Terra smiled, albeit somewhat sadly. "Sure, why not?"

Cyborg looked around. "Hey where's Raven? Do you think she'll wanna play?"

"Dude, does Raven EVER wanna play?" quipped Beast Boy, rolling his eyes.

Robin said nothing. A presence he had detected a long time ago in the shadows quickly disappeared.

Starfire smiled excitedly. "I shall go ask if she wishes to join us," she said, before flying off in the direction of Raven's room. The rest of the Titans moved toward the elevator.

"Yo, Robin, you coming?" called Cyborg over his shoulder as he pressed the elevator button.

Robin snapped out of his silent musings. He was still near the table. "Uh, yeah sure. Wait up."

He headed toward the elevator, toward the others, trying to shake off the feeling of uneasiness that had latched onto him since the night before.

* * *

A/N: Well there you go. I don't feel like this chapter was very good, but bear with me, it'll get better. Sorry if things seem a bit slow. Gotta run,

Jambey


	10. Avalanche among the battle field

A/N: Yay! I finally got a chance to post this! May is looking to be the most horrifying month of my entire 16 year old existence. It includes 4 gigantic school projects, exams, recitals, programs, a live audience performance (don't even get me started on that one unless you want to see me to soil myself, which isn't very amusing) more exams, and basically no free time whatsoever. If I don't update after June 1, you may officially give me up for dead. The stress is looking homicidal, so no, I'm not kidding (sighs gloomily, contemplating dismal future). Well, TGIF, so time for an update!

hermioneandterrastwin16: Aw, thanks (blushes, rubs back of head). It means a lot, since that is what I'm constantly aiming for.

Insanity 101: Tell me about it. Yeah, he is. Thanks! I try really hard to paint a picture in the reader's head of what's going on, TT _is_ a TV show, so I try to portray it as such. Problem is,that leads to rather long and repetitive (not to mention lacking dialogue) constant descriptions of the surroundings. By the way, I was serious in my author's note, so if you notice that I stop reviewing, you better send flowers to my funeral or I'll haunt you! (that's even better than using a bazooka!) Yay, I hear ya! Thanks, I'll try.

Well, here goes:

* * *

Skree! Skree! Skree!

Red lights flashed around the tower. Starfire gasped, looking up. She zoomed over to her room's closet. She had gone there to change her galoshes, since they had become caked with mud. With many a flurried movement, she ripped off her sludge encrusted boots.

_That hole of mud was filthier than the underside of a Zornian muck beetle_, Starfire thought disgustedly. _I sincerely hope Beast Boy will be more careful the next time he volleys the ball._

It had taken forever to find the volleyball amidst the sludge in a cluster of rocks at the base of Titans Tower. It had gotten there with yet another exaggerated serve by Beast Boy in gorilla mode. Starfire searched frantically for a fresh pair of boots.

Suddenly, she looked around. The red lights had stopped flashing, but the siren was still screaming it's head off. _The alarm is not an urgent call…most likely another simple evildoer_, Starfire thought, relaxing slightly.

The extraterrestrial returned to her former thoughts as she pulled on a pair of clean shoes, sitting on the floor. Ah yes, the ball in the mire. For some strange reason, Terra had refused to contribute to it's rescue. Starfire frowned slightly, remembering.

"Uhhh, that mud is too watery, there isn't enough earth…um…in it…to move it…" Terra mumbled when asked to find the ball, averting her eyes and rubbing the back of her head with a gloved hand.

The other Titans looked at her oddly. Robin frowned. "But you've moved mud before, didn't you do so in your fight with…"

"Dude, whatever," Beast Boy interrupted impatiently. "Let's just go get it."

"I shall volunteer to go and fetch the ball," Starfire had exclaimed cheerfully, and flew down to get it. Retrieving it, on the other hand, had been a messier task than it had looked like.

"Sheesh, where's Raven when you need her?" grumbled Beast Boy at the sight of a grime covered Starfire with an even grimier ball in hand.

Starfire's shoulders drooped. "I am afraid I was quite unable to convince her to join us."

Back in the present, Starfire's shoulders drooped similarly as she strode (er, flew) swiftly down the hall to the main room.

Raven had barely opened her door when Starfire had gone to ask if she wished to participate, and after offering a negative response to the query, slammed it in the alien girl's face.

Mentally shaking off the familiar feeling of rejection she usually got from the other female Titan, Starfire opened the main room doors. The others were crowded around Robin, who was communicating the mission coordinates.

"…on the corner of 9th Street. It looks like he took off for the forest, but he can't have gone too far, he took too many gold bars to be moving very fast. Looks like Cinderblock's been getting bored lately. This shouldn't take very long, so let's go and try to stop him quickly."

The Titans moved towards the door. All except for Terra. Beast Boy skidded to a stop just outside the door. He waved her over.

"Yo, Terra! Aren't you coming?"

Terra hesitated, then set her face grimly. "Yeah, sure." She ran to meet him at the door.

* * *

"Grooaaar!" Cinderblock growled angrily as he stomped off through the trees. The Titan's were gaining fast, and the humungous steel tank full of gold bars hoisted over his shoulder was slowing him down.

Cinderblock felt something insignificant peck his shoulder and lodge itself there on the outer layer of his thick skin. He looked dumbly at it; it was a birdarang. He turned just in time to see a steel rod slam into his rocky face.

"Grargh!"

With a roar of pain and confusion, Cinderblock dropped the tank of bars. They slammed to the ground, metal-upon-metal-upon-earth creating a grand amount of noise. Over the din could be heard Robin's angry exclamations and blasts from a sonic cannon.

Raven and Starfire flew overhead, both assaulting Cinderblock with green and shadowy black aerial attacks in combination. He held up his arm protectively, shielding his face.

Robin kicked him in every thinkable spot with steel-toed boots while Cyborg kept on blasting at the granite monster. "Booyah!"

Beast Boy and Terra brought up the rear. Beast Boy transformed into a Tyrannosaurus Rex and attempted to bulldoze the gravel foe.

Terra stopped, standing still, staring transfixed at the battle raging before her. Her time was up.

Terra swallowed nervously. She had feared this moment, ever since she had been freed from her horrid prison. The moment in which she would freeze up. The moment in which she would show the others just how cowardly she was. The moment she would be forced to, once again, use her powers.

Terra snapped out of her reverie as a wailing Beast Boy flew past her and crashed into a tree. With a grunt, he fell to the ground and lay still. Terra firmed her resolve. She _had_ to do this.

Scrunching up her eyes, she stretched out her arm and animated the ground beneath her. A big block of earth came to life beneath her feet, as it had done so so many times before. Terra grinned, relief flowing through her. _All right_.

Terra soared over to where Cinderblock was still putting up a good fight. Stretching her arms before her like a zombie, she summoned mounds of dirt from the ground with a cry and hurled them like spears toward Cinderblock.

The earthy projectiles crashed into Cinderblock, causing him to lose his balance.

"Groaar!" With a mighty bellow, the granite monstrosity slipped over a relatively high crag and fell about 35 feet to the ground.

Cyborg rushed over to the edge to keep firing at him.

"C'mon guys, we got the leverage! Just keep wailing on him till he goes down!"

Blue streaks of sonic energy flashed through the air, exploding on Cinderblock's prone form on the ground. Then the villain did something nobody expected.

Cinderblock quickly recovered and, despite still being on the receiving end of several blasts, managed to grab one of the collapsed boulders and aim it at Cyborg. As it soared through the air, one of Cyborg's blasts made it break in two, and the lower half crashed into the cliff's border, causing it to collapse.

The other Titans could only watch, horrified, as Cyborg swayed unsteadily for a few seconds, arms flailing frantically in a vain attempt to regain his balance, before plummeting down, and landing face down with a sick thud at Cinderblock's feet, sprawling over the ground.

The other Titans ran close to the border of the precipice, and checked to see if Cyborg was OK. They watched in awe as Cinderblock stood up, and ran away from the cybernetic teen's motionless form. It only took a half second to realize why.

A distinct rumbling sound reached their ears. The rocks at their feet trembled visibly. The Titans hurriedly backed away as blocks of rock began to break off. An avalanche of rocks were heading straight for Cyborg!

"Terra!" Robin yelled, hands cupped over his mouth, trying to be heard over the rumbling of the rocks. "Get down there, stop the avalanche!"

Terra nodded quickly before plunging down amid the rocks, maintaining her balance on her own boulder. Feet planted firmly in front of Cyborg, with her back facing him, Terra summoned her powers. The earth-shifter managed to stop the rain of boulders with ease before the really big ones came down.

The Titan's sighed with relief.

"Now," said Robin, "we have to…"

But just what the Boy Wonder was going to order his team to do, they would never know. The familiar rumbling commenced again. Terra's firm hold over the threatening downpour of stone was now wavering. A few rocks broke loose and landed with threatening crashes near the earth-shifter and her fallen comrade.

"Terra!" Robin shouted alarmingly. "What's happening?"

Terra clenched her eyes shut, arms shaking from an overwhelming effort. "Can't…no...not…now…don't…"

Cyborg, groaning, rubbing his head gingerly, got to his feet, and noticed for the first time the very dangerous situation in which he was in.

"Say, what…?!" He quieted down when he heard Terra's terrified faltering murmurings.

"No! Don't lose control, don't lose control, don't…" Terra's eyes widened behind her blue goggles as she let out a gasp of pure terror. "No!"

The invisible wall that held the rocks back ceased to exist, and the boulders began to fall at an alarming rate. Cyborg rushed toward Terra, attempting to shield her from the oncoming onslaught of merciless stone. He wrapped his metallic arms around her. They both squeezed their eyes shut, bracing for impact.

Just when the rocks were about a foot from Cyborg's head, they became enshrouded with black energy. Cyborg slowly opened his normal eye, and gawked upwards. Raven was floating in the air, black energy rushing from her hands and circling the avalanche. The other Titan's gaped in wonder as they watched the pile of gravel hover precariously over the duo's heads.

Beads of sweat stung her narrowed white eyes. Gritting her teeth, Raven, with a large burst of effort, swung the large load to her right. A huge pile of boulders slammed into ground, causing tremors to run through the earth like chills up a person's spine.

Raven floated tiredly toward the ground and made her way towards Cyborg and Terra. Beast Boy flew down as a pterodactyl and morphed back into his original self as he landed on the soil. Starfire flew down carrying Robin.

"Cyborg, Terra, are you all right?" asked Raven emotionlessly. The other Titan's arrived breathlessly, and each began speaking at once.

"Are you two unharmed?"

"Please, friends, are you both undamaged?"

"Dudes! Are you guys OK?"

"Yeah, I think we're all right, man," said Cyborg. He glanced down at the petite body of the earth-shifting Titan. Terra looked fine, but she uttered nothing, staring at the ground, eyes shaded from view.

"Cinderblock ran away, but the gold is safe. If nobody's hurt, than I think we can just go home," said Robin, turning away, beckoning the other Titans to follow him as he sent a message to the city's law enforcement department with his yellow Titan communicator.

They did so, Raven striding right behind Robin without so much as a glance backwards, walking slowly from the crash site. No one spoke a word; a heaviness seemed to descend onto them as they moved along.

Starfire shivered as a cold wind blew through the trees while the Titans made their way back to Titan's Tower. She couldn't help but ask herself the same question she had voiced many a time before when things were grim: If the team had won, then why didn't it feel like a victory?

* * *

A/N: Well, there you go. I didn't think this chapter was going to be very good at first, but I had an awful lot of fun writing it, it was my first action/fighting/battle scene ever, so be gentle. For those of you who are interested, don't worry about Beast Boy the Torturer, I have the second chapter in the works. Toodles,

Jambey


	11. Pushing the Right Buttons

A/N: (Peeks out from under covers) Is that it? Is it over? I'M ALIVE! (Comes out of the bed) Well, to be stupidly honest, no, it's not over, I still have about a week or two to go. But one of the mega mondo waves is over my head, and it's back to business! (rubs hands together).

Jurodan: Nice to see you again. Or, read you, um, anyway, thanks, it was my first action scene, so feedback is gratefully received. Yeah, Cyborg is that protective sorta dude. Glad to hear it.

Insanity 101: Ahh, back to fanfiction. I was starting to suffer from withdrawal pains. Hehehe, thanks, it's amazing what subject verb agreement exercises and some daydreaming can cook up! Hmm, Slade? I don't know whether to give you the full explanation, or wait for you to find out what really happens. Well, I'm overdue on some brainstorming, so I'll save it for now. Aw, c'mon, what are you gonna do, shoot my corpse? (Flash-forward: Jambey's funeral. Jambey hops out of the coffin, screaming "Don't shoot me! Don't shoot me! I was just kidding!". End of flash-forward) Hmm, not a pretty picture. Thanks, it's almost over, I'm in the final stretch. Let's see how I do here.

teen titan girl: Thanks! I guess it aint too bad, sorry you had to wait so long!

Okey dokey, this is a very important chapter so shut up and read! (thanks for the influence, Dusty):

* * *

The Titans filed in one by one into the main room. Nobody said a word. Through the windows of the Tower, storm clouds could be seen threatening to cover the chock-a-block moon, and thunder rumbled from without. Even the weather seemed to be reprimanding the team for their semi-failure.

Beast Boy bounced over to the refrigerator while Raven sat down at the table.

"Dude! There's nothing to eat!" exclaimed Beast Boy, bending over the fridge. "I'm going to starve of hunger!"

Robin raised his eyebrows at the not-so-eloquent phrase. "I guess we'll have to order something," he stated manner-of-factly. "I vote for Chinese food."

"No way, man, we had Chinese last week! Let's order pizza," boomed Cyborg.

"Whatever, let's just order something!" whined Beast Boy.

Robin and Cyborg began to argue loudly over what they should order. B.B. kept wailing that he was starving, while Starfire tried vainly to break up the fight, resorting at times to quizzical Tamaranian expressions that only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

Terra stood near the door. Her blond locks covered her sapphire eyes. Her head hung low. She still felt awful about the battle, but was appreciative that no one had commented on it.

Striving to remain unnoticed, Terra made her way, eyes downcast, toward the table and sat down. Looking up, she realized too late that she had just sat down opposite Raven.

But even more unsettling than this was the fact that Raven was staring at her. Terra stared back. Faced with that empty stare, she was at a loss of what to do. She found herself unconsciously wishing she was still back fighting Cinderblock.

Terra vaguely remembered B.B. telling her once how much he disliked when Raven did that.

"It's like she can see right through you; like she's thinking everything about you, and nothing of you at the same time," he had stated, before being whacked in the back of his head with a stankball sent by Cyborg.

Now, as Terra looked at Raven, she felt a twinge of anger. 

_What does she know? She doesn't know_ **anything** _about me!_ thought the earth-shifter. Terra crossed her arms similarly to Raven, throwing a defiant glare at the pit of darkness.

Raven didn't move, just kept x-raying her with those amethyst orbs.

Terra's anger grew with each passing second. 

_I'll bet she's thinking about the fight_, Terra thought venomously. _She's probably just _waiting_ for a chance to make some sarcastic comment about it._ She squirmed as those unrelenting purple spheres bored into her like drills.

Terra was boiling now, angry patches of red flooding her cheeks. God, how she hated that emotionless face!

Wait a sec, was that a _smirk_ that streaked across Raven's face? If it was, it was gone now.

Something inside Terra snapped. _That does it_!

"Say it!" Terra spat, arms still crossed.

For a split second, Raven's face held an emotion Terra failed to recognize, but the sorceress returned to her stoic state and quickly muttered, "What?"

"Just say it!" Terra snarled, slamming her gloved hands on the yellow table.

Raven's expression grew colder. "I don't know what your talking about."

"Don't play stupid. I know what you're thinking, so you might as well come out with it!"Terra growled.

Raven slowly uncrossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at the earth-shifter. "And what, pray, led you to the delusion that _you_ know what goes on in _my_ head?"

"I told you to cut it out!" shouted Terra, jumping to her feet. "Fine, I messed up. In the battle. I-MESSED-UP. There, I said it. Are you happy now?"

Raven didn't respond, merely stared up at the nearly shaking girl. Unbeknownst to them both, the argument going on in the background was gradually dieing down.

Terra decided that she had had enough. She wanted to get under Raven's skin, and she had plenty of resources to do so. Being Slade's apprentice was good for more than just learning combat techniques and power control.

Smirking, Terra said, "At least I'm not afraid of the dark."

Raven's smirk quickly slipped off her face. "No, you're afraid of being stuck in a rock again. Or do you always cry in your sleep?"

Terra's face turned pale. Her expression hardened. "Don't even go there. Or you'll get hurt."

"Ooh, I'm shaking. What are you gonna do to me, cover me in mud again?" sneered Raven. Something in the pit of stomach told her that what she was doing was wrong, but she felt something else, something darker, override her instincts and enjoy baiting the girl.

Terra sneered right back. "Oh, yeah, my mistake. I can only cause avalanches. It's not like I can trigger _world annihilation_."

Raven's eyes widened, then narrowed again. She stood up. "Now it looks like _you're_ the one who's going to get hurt."

The team nervously looked from one girl to the other, all thoughts of alimentation gone, wanting to intervene, but fearing the lash of either.

Terra decided that it was time to tighten the screw. "Yeah, along with everyone else."

Raven scowled darkly, eyes flashing dangerously. "_You don't know me_. I have control over my emotions _and_ my powers, unlike some people."

"Sure you do. Wouldn't want Daddy to cause trouble, would you?"

Raven's hands curled into fists. "_I'm warning you…_"

Terra was beyond all reason now. Any inhibitions she might have had had disappeared now. She felt a strange and primal hunger coursing through her veins, like molten lava. It was exhilarating, yet it frightened her. All she thought about was causing Raven as much psychological and emotional pain as possible.

"Man, you're mom probably had a rough time, what with what your dad did to her and everything."

Raven froze at the mention of her mother. She felt her limbs go numb with disbelief.

"Maybe it would have been better for everyone if she hadn't had you. Then world peace wouldn't be threatened."

Robin stepped forward, ready to stop the torrent of abuse, but Terra plowed on.

"I bet you think about her a lot, don't you? Yeah, that's what you do in your dark, creepy room all day, cry your eyes out like a baby for your mommy."

Raven was shaking violently now.

"Why, mommy?" imitated Terra viciously in a child-like voice. "Why do I hurt everybody? All you do is cry. But wait, I bet you can't even do that! You'd probably blow up half the city or some…"

A cry that bore no resemblance to anything uttered from human lips wrenched it's way out of Raven's throat as she lunged toward Terra. She collided into the earth-shifter and they crashed to the floor.

Raven wrapped one hand around Terra's thin neck, and she slammed her other fist into every part of the traitor within her reach. An odd whistling echoed in her ears, and a buzzing filled her head. Her throat burned from the effort to sustain the roar still issuing from her throat.

Raven perceived only distantly two strong, green gloved arms wrapping around her own and binding them tight behind her. They dragged her away from the battered Terra, and as she noticed this, she struggled more fiercely than she ever had before in her life. Only one thought echoed through her mind: kill Terra.

Surprisingly, Terra sprang to her feet as best she could and charged at Raven, only to be impeded in a similar manner by the changeling. Raven was vaguely aware of Robin yelling something, and saw Beast Boy speak urgently in Terra's ear, but both girls were oblivious to their teammate's cries.

Cyborg stepped between the two, bellowing something incoherent, and rapidly ushered B.B. and Terra from the room, with difficulty. Though Terra's nose appeared to be broken, and her lip was cut and bleeding, the earth-shifter was still putting up a tremendous fight.

The floor seemed to tremble slightly. Terra's screams of "I'll get you! I swear I'll get you!" were muffled only slightly as the changeling and the robotic teen forced her out of the room.

Meanwhile, even though the traitor was gone, Raven was still fighting tooth-to-nail to be free from Robin's clutches. She desperately clawed at Robin's arms and face, struggling fiercely. Random objects exploded in the background, surrounded with an aura of black energy. In her frenzy, however, it didn't occur to her to use her powers to make the Boy Wonder let her go.

"Argh, grr…Raven…c-calm down…stop!" Robin cried, to no avail.

Starfire wrung her hands helplessly as she watched her friend bend her head forward in an effort to liberate herself. "Please, Raven, you must calm down, for your own sake!"

Her teammate's cries fell on deaf ears as Raven dropped to her knees, still fighting against her leader's grasp. Her energy was waning fast, now that the adrenaline had worn off and the object of her anger was out of her sight. She kneeled, gasping from effort, Robin's arms supporting her more than holding her back.

Starfire hesitantly stepped forward.

"Arghh!" With a yell, Raven tried once again to surge forward. Robin, caught off guard, used more force than necessary to bring her back, and slammed her onto the floor. He pinned her arms to the ground, while Starfire grabbed her ankles and held down like iron menacles.

But even then Raven fought. With a silent gasp, Robin noticed tears glistening in Raven's thick, dark lashes, as she scrunched her eyes up in an effort to escape. He felt as though an iron hand had clenched around his heart. Even with the utterly lost, to whom life and death are equally jests, there are matters of which no jest can be made. Poe knew it, and so did Robin.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Raven stopped struggling. Her breath came out in quick gasps, which quickly turned into soft sobs. She refused to open her eyes. Robin gently released his grip on her arms, as her tense muscles gradually relaxed. He looked at Starfire, who met him with an equally mystified gaze: What could they possibly say?

Raven solved that for them. She sat up, stifling her sobs, and roughly brushed the tears from her eyes. She attempted to stand, but failed miserably. Robin helped her up, but she swayed, overwhelmed with the effort of attempting to stay standing, and he held her up. Worry furrowed the Boy Wonder's brow as he put his arm around the dark teen's slender shoulders, supporting her on her shaking legs.

Starfire clasped her hands together as she looked intently and worriedly at Raven.

"Friend, please…are you undamaged?"

Raven opened her eyes slightly, but determinedly looked at the floor. It was evident she acknowledged her inability to walk alone, humiliating as it was, but nontheless she refused to be treated like a victim. Yet again.

"Robin…take me to my room."

It was with pain in her eyes that Starfire watched Robin nod curtly and head steadily toward the door. The alien was abruptly aware of the fact that she was now alone in the main room. She shivered slightly and jumped as another peal of thunder boomed outside.

_Rekmas_, Starfire thought gloomily to herself. It was happening again. The Titan's were falling apart.

* * *

A/N: Ta da! Well, not exactly Shakespeare, but I loved working on this chapter, it felt good to be writing again. I realize that last time I said that you could give me up for dead after June 1, but things from May shifted to June so now things won't be officially over until July. (sighs) I hate my life. Hehehe, just kidding, anyway I hope y'all like this chapter, please, please, PLEASE review! I'd yell at you to review, but I've lost my voice for a while, so you would probably laugh at me instead (that means you Dusty). Anyway, don't flame me, I'm not a Terra hater or basher or any of that crud. It was just essential that she act like an official jerk to get on with the story. Well, that's about it, gotta run,

Jambey


	12. Reluctant Explanations

Jurodan: That's for sure! You'll see in a minute. I dunno, I didn't find it as un-Ravenish as that. Oh, really sorry about that, it's a kick-off of _alimentación_, in Spanish, and I always use it at home as a direct translation, to poke fun. It didn't occur to me that it isn't that well known in English, and I apologize for any confusion. Thanks for reminding me about that, I did notice something looked really weird in the writing sequences, thanks for that. Thanks, I remembered that scene too, and it seemed to me that Terra isn't naturally so vicious, that it was Slade's influence that taught her how to push people too far. Thanks a lot

Insanity 101: Lol, if only I could. But that would end the story right quick, wouldn't it? See! I told you, YOU were the one who said that, so naah! (sticks out tongue). Aww, I wish I could go camping, it looks like fun, I mean, beside the butt-freezing. Ha! If only! You said it. But what about the male teachers? Ahh! Evil fungus people! Get away! (Hides in sock drawer).

LaughingRanna: Thanks! Okey dokey, sorry it took so long.

One Esperandote: You're telling me! Hey, thanks :). Yeah, that's true. You can call me jambey, it's a bit easier than my pen name.

Well, here goes:

* * *

The door hissed open as Beast boy dragged a kicking and screaming Terra into the hallway. Cyborg hurried in and pushed a button to close the door.

As he did so, he caught a glimpse of Raven's face as she struggled within Robin's arms. The cybernetic teen felt chills roll up and down his spine. Affirming his resolve, he turned around to face the instigator.

Despite a bloody nose, the earth-shifter was still struggling to be free from the changeling's grasp. Growling, she fought violently, twisting this way and that.

"Let…me…go!" she snarled, pulling with all her might. Minutes passed, and Terra showed no sign of letting up. Blood was smeared all over her lips and chin, and her small frame showed indications of approaching exhaustion.

A huge shadow fell over her. Abruptly, Terra stopped moving. She slowly raised her head until she met Cyborg's gaze.

His expression was stony. His steel gray human eyed bored into her as he spoke. "I want you to explain what the _hell_ happened in there."

His voice was as cold as his stare. Involuntarily, Terra shuddered.

"Yeah, what is your deal?" asked Beast Boy angrily, releasing his grip on Terra's arms and circling her to stand next to Cyborg.

Terra quickly got to her feet and dusted herself off.

"We just had an argument," she replied sullenly, staring at the ground. In a split second, Cyborg was in her face.

"Maybe you didn't hear me," he stated angrily, towering over her menacingly. "Seems to me that was more than an argument. Mind telling us what set you off?"

Terra wiped at her bloody nose and chin, and fixed an icy stare on the duo. "That's none of your business."

Terra started to walk past them. A titanium arm lunged out and caught her forearm in an unforgiving grip.

"That's where you're wrong," Cyborg stated.

"Jeez, Terra, what's going on? Why were you saying such awful things to each other?" asked B.B. shrilly.

Terra sneered at him. "Why don't you ask that witch?"

"Don't talk about Raven that way!" yelled Beast Boy angrily. Terra's face registered surprise.

"Yeah, what is your problem?" roared Cyborg impatiently.

"I think you're asking the wrong questions," said a voice from the shadows. The three titans turned to watch their leader emerge from the dark.

In two swift strides, he came face-to-face with Terra. The earth-shifter shrank back from him as best she could, her arm still held captive by Cyborg.

"You said a lot of things you're going to regret later," Robin stated in a low voice. "Question is, how did you know about them?"

Beast Boy turned his stunned gaze from the Boy Wonder's threatening glare to Terra's defiant expression. "Huh? What are you talking about, Robin?"

"I'm only going to ask this once," Robin cut B.B. off, mask still fixed on Terra. "How did you know about Raven's parents and the prophecy?"

Terra stared at Robin long and hard for a full minute. Silence settled on the group as they both kept up their staring contest unflinchingly. Lightening flashed through the windows and thunder rumbled as the tempest continued outside.

Abruptly, Terra tore her arm out of Cyborg's clutches. Caught off guard, he let her go. Terra slowly made her way over to the closest window. Crossing her arms, she stared at the rain pounding against the thick glass.

With her back to them, she muttered, "Just because I was stuck in a statue doesn't mean I was dead."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"Meaning I still had access to the outside world," Terra stated calmly, resting a gloved hand on the glass, as though striving to feel the refreshing coolness wipe all the filth away.

Cyborg turned accusingly toward Beast Boy. "You told her? Robin said not to talk of it to anyone, _anyone_! Not even a piece of scener…" he trailed off uncomfortably, wisely choosing not to finish his sentence.

Beast Boy raised his hands defensively. "I didn't, I swear!"

Terra chuckled wryly. "Beast Boy wasn't the only person I was listening to all that time," she said softly.

Everybody started at that comment. Robin frowned uneasily. "What do you mean by that? Who else were you in contact with? The only other person who knew what happened to you was…"

An anxious quiet settled on the group.

Terra turned around. "Come on, Robin, you can say it…or is his name a bad word now?" Terra smirked.

Robin narrowed his eyes at that comment. Cyborg took a step forward. "We thought Slade was _dead_…that you killed him when you…"

"When I turned myself into a lawn ornament?" Terra asked lightly. Beast Boy winced at the comment.

"I thought I had too…but it turns out that characters like Slade are quite like cockroaches: notoriously difficult to eliminate."

"But wait…that still doesn't explain how you knew all that information," said Robin firmly. "Do you expect us to believe Slade decide to pay you a visit and then divulged all of Raven's past like gossip?"

"I don't expect you to believe anything Bird Brain!" snapped Terra irritably.

Robin's hands balled into fists.

"Look, you wanted me to tell you how I knew all that crud about Raven, right? Well here you go."

Terra pulled at her black Titan's uniform.

"If you remember correctly, I wasn't wearing this the last time we fought together. Remember that weird, silvery blue uniform Slade made me wear? It made me more powerful than ever. But it also made me just what Slade wanted me to be: a puppet. He could control me and make me do whatever he wanted."

Terra broke off for a minute, turning away slightly, shaking visibly, as the torrent of memories she had been desperately trying to suppress since the night before came flooding back. She took a deep breath, and plunged back into her story.

"The reason that uniform made me so strong was that I was connected with Slade; he had complete access to my nervous system, which is why he could control my physical body."

Terra smiled grimly. "But it was a double-edged knife. He could control my body, but I had access to everything going on in his mind."

Terra tapped two fingers to her head. "It was a minor gift. I couldn't influence his mind in any way, but I did know most of his intentions." The earth-shifter stared at the ground. "Most of them."

She looked up and threw a fierce glare at the male Titans. "Well, even trapped in that hell hole I was in, I could still make out most of what he thought about. I can't begin to describe how frightened I was the first time I heard his voice whispering in my head. I thought he was dead, and, frankly, things were better that way." Her cobalt eyes unexpectedly filled with tears. "I thought I was finally losing my mind."

Robin felt an unexpected surge of sympathy for the broken girl standing before him. He knew better than anyone what it felt like to be haunted by Slade, to try and tell himself that the maniac was gone, while frantically trying to hold on to his sanity.

Roughly, Robin snapped out of it. _That doesn't excuse what she did to Raven_, he thought to himself. Frowning, he uttered, "Keep talking."

Terra started, then scowled. "Hello? Connecting suit, homicidal maniac on the other line? It didn't take me long to realize what was going on. I can't say I've ever really liked that witc..um, Raven," said Terra, glancing over at Beast Boy. "But the stuff Slade knew…and the stuff he had in store for her…it was enough to freak me out."

"And now?" Cyborg asked tentatively.

Terra shrugged. "When Slade had a hold of me, I couldn't take off the suit. It was attached to my skin. Last night, it came off easily. I figured that if he truly was alive, you guys must have found some way to take him out."

The male Titans stared at each other uneasily. Terra watched them closely.

Finally, Robin stated coldly, "You had absolutely _**no** _right to say any of those things to Raven. I don't have time to deal with you right now," he said, pointing a finger at Terra, "but trust me, this isn't over."

Terra wiped at her face again, her normally friendly, blue eyes livid with hate.

"Ask me if I care," she replied frostily, brushing past Robin roughly, heading for her room. Beast Boy took one look at Robin and Cyborg, and followed Terra hastily down the dark hallway.

Cyborg shook his head wearily. "Man, what a mess."

"Yes, that's exactly what this is," muttered Robin grimly. "And I have a feeling there's more to this than meets the eye."

"What do you mean, man?" asked Cyborg.

"Terra's back, Raven's been behaving strangely, they get into a fight…and now we know that Terra knew the whole time Slade wasn't dead." The Boy Wonder shook his head.

"I don't know…I've had a strange feeling since yesterday…and it seems to me something else is up with Raven, something that has nothing to with Terra, or Slade, or the prophecy…something else…" Robin trailed off.

Robin cut off his musings and gazed at Cyborg. "I have to make sure Raven's OK," he stated, his expression ill at ease.

Swiftly, Robin made his way down the hall, leaving a confused Cyborg in his wake.

"Whatever's going on," muttered Robin under his breath, "I have a feeling things are going to go from bad to worse…" he said, as he disappeared into the shadows as silently as he came.

* * *

A/N: Well! There you go! Sorry it took so long, I've been enjoying my freedom a little bit too well. I'll try to update quicker.

Toodles,

Jambey


	13. It Hurts Too Much

InSaNiTy 1o1: Frog Spawn? Sorry, that's a little hard to find. Maybe I could handle something easier, like petroleum or something (hehehe). It's before, it's after The Prophecy, but before The End. I haven't seen those last episodes, so I didn't know he would be defeated, but it sorta figures, so no worries there. I'm sorry if it got confusing, I was in a complicated situation with the story and couldn't make it much clearer. I think it's Marilyn Monroe. NO! Not my socks! ANYTHING but my socks! Ironically, my mom came into my room today and threatened me with disownment if I didn't get rid of a few of my old socks (the drawer was full to bursting). I don't wanna die! I'm updating, I'm updating!

jenny: Thanks, I will.

Child of Blood: (stares speechless). Wow. I'm honestly, HUGELY flattered that anyone would go through so much trouble to read a story of mine. Thank you _very_ much. That was pretty much the angle I was looking for. (blushes) Why, thank you. Your wish is my command.

Well, here we go:

* * *

Anger. Blinding, seething, writhing _anger_. It pulsed through Terra's veins, contracting and relaxing in a quick sequence until she felt her head throbbing. It took control of her senses, ensnaring any rational thought she might have had and obliterating it before it had a chance to make itself known. Her hands had long ago lost any feeling, so tightly were they clenched inside her thick gloves.

_Use your anger. Let it fuel your actions. It will make you stronger._

Terra clenched her teeth. Now, _now_, of all the times to remember that hateful voice! With a violent thrust of the head she shut it out of her mind, never slowing her stride. _Now is not the time_.

_Now is **never** the time._

There was no time for that, all that mattered was getting as far away from any other life forms as possible. Terra concentrated on her pace. She barely registered the sound of her boots thudding dully against the cold, hard floor of the hallway, the sound echoing eerily, clashing with the sound of faster footsteps coming up behind her.

_Whatever it is_, she thought as her feet picked up speed, _I seriously _**don't**_ want to hear it_.

"Terra! Terra, wait up, hold on a second!"

_Beast Boy_. "Back off, Beast Boy. Just back, **off**," muttered Terra, in a voice she barely recognized as her own. To her shock, it reminded her of the dreadful tones she had used when she was Slade's apprentice. Was a person's character so well reflected by the pitch of their voice?

"Terra, stop, stop for a minute, just STOP!" The changeling had grabbed onto Terra's wrist at that last exclamation, and forced her to turn around.

Terra wrenched her wrist out of B.B.'s grasp. "What do you want!" Terra half-yelled, getting into his face, both fists clenched protectively in front of her.

Beast Boy didn't bat an eye. He grabbed Terra's shoulders. "I want you to calm down for a sec. Please, Terra, please, just cool down and talk to me."

Terra opened her mouth, with every intention of sending him to hell, but her gaze fell on B.B.'s familiar face. Those messy green bangs. Those wide, innocent eyes, looking intently at her. Those elfish ears. That adorable little fang forever jutting out of his mouth, even when it was shut in a grim contortion, as it was now. Something came over Terra, and she knew she didn't have the strength to fend off her one, true, best friend.

The earth-shaker took a deep breath, and let her hands, and her walls, fall. She let her stare fall to the ground, unable to meet his eyes.

Beast Boy's gaze never wavered. "Terra?"

She looked up, and without a word, took his hand, and led him to her room, which was only a few feet away. Only when the door hissed shut, and Terra was sure they were out of ear-shot, did she muster the courage to return Beast Boy's gaze. The look that passed between them spoke volumes.

Beast Boy hesitated, unsure what to say.

"Terra…," started B.B., gesturing uselessly with his hands, "What…what _happened_ in there?" he asked for what seemed the millionth time that night.

Now it was Terra's turn to hesitate. The former anger she had harnessed in the form of speed now evaporated faster than she could have imagined. Suddenly, she felt very, very tired.

"I already told you. We had a fight. We were just arguing, and then…" Terra turned away. B.B. waited. She took a deep breath.

"I was angry. I was angry about that battle with Cinderblock. I was angry about my powers. I was angry at Raven for never trusting me. No, scratch that. I was _glad_ she didn't trust me. I was angry at all of you for doing so."

Though that last bit didn't make much sense to Beast Boy, he knew better than to interrupt.

"And then Raven comes on staring at me, you know, just looking at me, measuring me, _judging_ me…and that pissed me off, so I decided to pick a fight."

"I know it seems dumb now," she continued, "but something inside me snapped. I said some things, okay, some _stupid_ things…and then she jumped me!" Terra concluded, waving her hands around wildly. Her lip was still pulsing rather uncomfortably, not to mention her nose.

"Is it any wonder why?" Beast Boy growled at Terra, his voice losing all sympathy, sounding as cold and unforgiving as Robin's had a moment ago.

Terra was taken aback. "I thought you were on _my_ side," she protested, raising a hand to her chest.

Beast Boy glared at Terra. "Do you have any idea how much damage you caused with those things you said? You said horrible things, Terra. How could you _do_ that?"

He took a step forward. Terra unconsciously stepped back. "How could you rub those things in Raven's face? Her parents, her powers, the prophecy…" Beast Boy turned away, disgusted, as though the words left an unpleasant aftertaste in his mouth. "How could you do that? Why do you _always_ do that?"

Terra's expression slowly turned from shock to coldness. "So…," she muttered sourly, crossing her arms in front of her, "you're sticking up for _her_, are you?"

Beast Boy grabbed Terra's arms and shook her before she even realized he had moved.

"DON'T YOU GET IT!" he screamed in her face. "This isn't about Raven! It's about you! Why do you keep doing this! What do I have to do to prove to you that you matter to us? How many times do we have to forgive you to make you feel appreciated? WHY DO YOU HURT THE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU!"

Terra's eyes widened with fear. She had never seen Beast Boy like this. His eyes were wild with fury, he panted slightly, and his grip on her made her arms go painfully numb. She stood stock still, not knowing what to do or say.

Before she could give it much though, however, the changeling suddenly released his grip on her. He turned away, as though he couldn't bear to look at her anymore. Terra remembered that look all too well. That look of utter loathing. Just like the _last_ time she had betrayed them. _Like I'm something worthless_. Terra's former anger began to take hold of her once more. It was like a bad film, being played over and over again.

_Anger, betrayal, revenge. Those are the only tools you'll ever need._

Beast Boy roused her from her thoughts with another interjection.

"It's always the same," he muttered, eyes averted as though he was loath to look at her. "I try to help, you push me away. I give you anther chance, and you hurt me till I can't think straight."

He threw her a look that screamed revulsion. "I think the only other person who hurts more with words than you is Slade."

The changeling touched a nerve. Terra's shock registered all over her face. Her body went rigid, her expression blank. Tremors went up and down her spine. For a moment, she didn't move. Then, slowly, her eyebrows knitted together, and her sapphire eyes regained their frosty disposition.

"That's right," she uttered viciously. "It's always me. I never do anything right. The only thing I've ever brought to you and your team is trouble."

Beast Boy merely stared at her.

Now it was Terra who took a step forward, her whole body shaking with anger. "I don't feel. I don't think. I just _hurt_, is that right? I just injure your precious teammates. I just waste your precious chances."

The pair of them stood facing each other, neither taking their eyes off the other.

Beast Boy said doggedly, "That's not what I meant. Terra, I'm…I'm tired of this. It's like a broken record. None of us wants to hurt you. We all just wanna help you."

"Well, maybe I don't need your help," exclaimed Terra roughly. "Maybe I don't need your chances. Maybe I'd be better off without any of you. Maybe I should just leave."

Beast Boy fell silent, shocked and dismayed by her response. "Terra, you can't leave. You're my friend. I'm your friend. You're part of this team too, y'know, even if you don't feel that way now," he said, holding his hands out to her.

Terra turned her face away. "I can't stay here. Not after what just happened."

"I already said it, we're not trying to hurt you. Not even Raven. She was just fighting back. You both were. She didn't deserve those things you said to her," Beast Boy said sternly. "And besides…what's Raven ever done to you?"

Terra bared her teeth, anger flaring up again. "What has she done to me? What has _Raven_ done to me? The same thing you've all done! God, I'm so sick of this!"

She put her hands over her ears, as thought trying to block out things B.B. couldn't hear. "You all look down your noses at me! I'm just a problem, an equation with no solution. I'm sick of you all judging me! I'm just never going to be good enough for you, am I!"

"Jeez, Terra, WE'RE NOT JUDGING YOU!" Beast Boy shouted, exasperated. "The only one who's judging you is yourself! And we get caught in the middle of it!"

"FINE! I'll leave you out of this then. This just isn't worth it!" Terra screamed back, tears creeping into the back of her throat. She spun around, and stormed toward the door.

"Is that your solution to everything?" Beast boy yelled after her. "Running away again won't make the pain go away!"

Terra stopped short two inches away from the door. Beast Boy watched at her anxiously, forgetting his anger.

"Terra…please. Don't leave. I can help you. But you have to stop running away. If you just face everything, face what happened to y…"

"YOU JUST DON'T GET IT BEAST BOY!" roared Terra, spinning around. Beast Boy noticed tears brimming in her eyes. The sight of them bruised his heart.

Terra stood shaking before him, but this time not with anger, but regret.

"I can't do it, I just can't do it! I can't face what happened. It hurts too much, everything just hurts too much! I'm better off alone anyway!"

Terra was so angry at herself, that she said the one thing she knew would drive Beast Boy away from her. "Why don't you go comfort that witch, she could probably use it more than me!"

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL HER THAT!" bellowed Beast Boy, striding forward and towering over Terra in his anger. For a moment, she thought he was going hit her. "DON'T…CALL…HER…THAT!"

Terra stared at Beast Boy, opened her mouth as though she was about to say something, then closed it again. Without another word, she whirled around, pushed the button that opened the door, and left Beast Boy with only his thoughts and regrets to accompany him.

* * *

A/N: Wow. That was really, REALLY hard to write! Really tough to squeeze out, like orange juice from an orange. I'm worried this chapter didn't portray what I tried so hard to. I'm sorry this is taking so long, things had been tough for a while and I couldn't concentrate. I was also working out a some kinks with the story. Now that it's sorted out, things might move more smoothly. In case anyone wanted to know.

Jambey


	14. Losing Control?

Insanity 101: Hehehe, those rants are customary, so I'm used to them. Yeah, well, it's interesting stuff, thought I'd put it in there. Yeah, it was awful, it was like "write, erase, write, erase", ugh. Oh don't worry, you'll know soon enough. Oh, forget about it, I'm going to see those episodes all this week, so by Friday I'll know all about it. Yeah, nice chapter by the way! Sorry about the homework, I start school in a week (hehehe). Why, thank you mate, nice to hear from you, old chum.

hoshi-ko88: Yeah, just a bit. I'm doing my best.

Xiaolinlover: Thanks, I'm rather fond of that chapter. I'm also rather sorry that you don't like the other chapters as much to review them also, but I appreciate your praise.

Child of Blood: Lol, why thank you! It did! It reminds me of Raven somewhat (dodges black-hexed spell book aimed at head) hehehe.

Ok, shut up and read:

_Focus. All I need to do is focus. _

"_That stupid, ugly…"_

_I have to focus, I have to meditate._

"…_double-crosser, traitor, slut…"_

_It's not worth it, _**she's**_ not worth it._

"…_wring her neck if I get the chance…_"

_This won't hurt me, I _**won't**_ let it hurt me…_

"…_she'll pay if it's the last thing I…"_

_NO!_

Raven felt her fingernails digging into her bare knees. Breathing was difficult; she felt as though a rubber band had been stretched over her chest, constraining it. She didn't dare open her eyes, for fear of losing control.

_This isn't me, this isn't like me…_

"_If I ever cross paths with that…"_

_It's not like I've never heard those things before…_

"_She's not from Azarath. You didn't _sense_ those things from her, she said them to your _face_…"_

_She didn't know what she was saying…I almost provoked her…_

"_You're not defending her…are you?"_

Raven started at that. This indoor ping-pong match had been going on since Robin left her in her room. Well, he didn't exactly _leave_…unless you count being pushed out the door by a telekinetic energy shield and having said door slammed in your face leaving. Why he didn't kick the door in, as he had once before, was a mystery to Raven, but she assumed it was because he felt as team leader the responsibility of dealing with Terra, and had decided to leave her in peace for a while.

"_Of course it's his responsibility…you don't think he took you here because he _cares_ for you, do you_?"

Raven gritted her teeth at the derision that oozed from those last two statements. But that wasn't what bothered her. Since when did she talk to herself in terms of "you"?

No witty response flashed in her head.

Raven slowly opened her eyes. They took some time adjusting to the darkness. Which was fine, because Raven had a lot to think about.

Raven felt unsettled. She struggled to keep her thoughts organized. To her surprise, she almost felt her anger at Terra ebbing away.

"Was I just defending Terra a minute ago?" she said aloud, breaking the familiar, eerie silence that always hovered over her room. No one answered.

_Why would anyone do so? She was alone…wasn't she?_

Raven's heart began to beat very fast, but in a way that was different than from a half hour ago in the main room. Was that _fear_ pumping through her veins?

She uncrossed her legs and stood up. Her legs felt shaky and unwilling to support her, but Raven's resolve kept them upright. She nervously began to pace the room. She felt as though the walls were closing in on her.

What was going on? Raven felt strange. She felt as though she had just been talking to someone. It was like another presence was lingering around…

_Everybody talks to themselves once in a while_, she reasoned, wrapping her arms around herself, feeling chilly.

"_Why am I feeling afraid? I should be angry, angry at the traitorous earth-shifter!_"

Raven stopped short. She felt her arms drop to her sides. Her eyes narrowed. The silence echoing around her room rang out like an alarm bell.

_That doesn't sound like me at all…_she thought suspiciously. _Anger is pointless…_

Suddenly, she felt an awful strain sear through her mind. Raven cried out, as she closed her eyes and put her hands to her head. She felt the pain building up.

_Just an attack, another fit…_Raven thought desperately. It had happened before. They were becoming common these days…especially since Terra showed up.

"Argh!" Raven fell to her knees, the pain continuing to build up in her head. Her mind frantically throve to focus, even in her pain, and to think rationally. But she couldn't help distracting herself in the process.

"_It'll be over soon…**thisreallyreallyhurts**…and when it is…**whyisthishappening?**...my room will be wrecked again…**someonepleasehelp**…and nothing worse will have happened."_

But this time was different. This time, she didn't open her eyes to find a wrecked room. This time, there was no Boy Wonder to hold her and snap her out of it.

This time was different.

Like a film was being projected in her head, Raven saw images flash before her eyes:

**A flash of yellow light, identical to the one in her vision…**

**Terra's face reflecting on the main room's screen, next to a grinning Beast Boy...**

**Terra in person, folded safely under Beast Boy's wing…**

**Terra in her apprentice uniform, floating next to Slade in Raven's dream…**

**Beast Boy and Starfire taking turns hugging Terra, _forgiving_ that traitor…**

**Cyborg shielding the earth-shifter, protecting her from certain death…**

**Terra's smirking face as she casually talked about Arella and the fate of the world, as though she were discussing the weather…**

**My mother…_my mother_…**

"NOOO!"

Raven clutched the ground in agony, fingers grasping the thick carpet on her bedroom floor as though holding on for dear life, body convulsing with erratic spasms.

Fury rushed through her, enveloping her, suffocating her, squeezing the life out of her. She could feel the ground trembling beneath her, knew what destruction her powers must be causing.

Yet this didn't worry her. Because a second later she was distracted.

Something wasn't natural. Something was _wrong_.

The anger that coursed through her veins felt foreign. It felt strangely…

Artificial.

**Induced.**

With a gasp of realization, Raven struggled to bottle up her emotions, as she had done so countless times.

But it was too late.

Suddenly, the sound died away. Raven felt a cold wind blow against her face and make her cloak rustle. The carpet beneath her fingers turned to unforgiving rock. She knew she was outside.

And then she heard a drawling voice she had never wanted to hear again.

"Nice to see you again, Raven. It's about time."


	15. The Horrible Truth

Cold, hard gravel bit into Raven's knees. The air was frigid, and it chilled her to the core, making her bones ache. The strain in her head had lessened, but she didn't trust herself to stand up. She did, however, open her eyes.

She thought for a split second that she had imagined his voice. How could it be possible?

_It wasn't possible._

But now her eyes confirmed her fears; they rested their sight on the slim figure before her, dressed in black garments and encased in silver armor, long white hair billowing in the wind, blue eyes smirking at the fallen figure before him. The cold didn't seem to affect him in the slightest.

"Malchior," Raven spat venomously, striving to keep the surprise and fear out of her voice. She squeezed her fingers together tighter, and remembered that the carpet she had been clinging to had turned to gravel and dust.

Her heartbeat quickened as it dawned on her where she was, the familiar setting seeping in through her senses.

The reddish black, empty sky, the massive chunks of rock suspended in space, the ominous caws of small, red-eyed ravens in the distance…clearly, she was in her own mind.

"It's nice to see that you're a bit more perceptive this time," Malchior's melodious voice rang out amusedly.

"But it won't do you much good."

So he could read her thoughts. Raven gritted her teeth. One of her worst enemies had the upper hand in the isolated confines of her mind while she was physically incapacitated. This just kept getting better and better.

"Indeed, this is fairly enjoyable. But come, Raven, aren't you going to greet me properly?"

Anger and resentment flashed in Raven's head, and she lunged at Malchior, ready to claw his face off. Or, she would have, if she could have moved.

To her horror, Raven found herself unable to budge. She realized as the pain in her head lessened, the pain in her was knees fading slightly too. The sorceress could no longer feel the dirt and grime beneath her fingertips as vividly as before. She felt oddly suspended, as though she her body was no longer hers. She gasped in fear at the sensation. Raven looked down; her body was still there, but it was_ like she was being drained out of it, bit by bit_. The only thing that remained steady was the relentless cold.

Malchior laughed an evil, resounding laugh, which did not resemble his usual voice.

"Well, _that's_ in order," he chuckled, grinning at the pit of darkness. It was the first time she had ever seen Malchior's human mouth; his teeth were white and extremely sharp, like dragon fangs.

Raven finally found her voice again. "What's going on? What are you planning this time? Why…"

"…am I using Rorek's true form?" he asked, finishing her sentence, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I would have found that rather obvious, Raven," he said condescendingly. Raven forced herself not to reply.

"Dragons are a bit last millennium. I learned that much in my last battle with you. I am a dragon, but in essence, I am an intelligent creature, with a great deal of magic abilities, if I do say so myself. I can take the form of a human being. It isn't difficult, I know more than enough magic to do that. But it order to do so, I must leave my demonic qualities in another being. And what could be more fun than watching the Teen Titans fight an already half-demon with fangs and wings, who _used_ to be their teammate? The only thing missing is some popcorn."

Raven's eyes widened. Could what Malchior was saying be true? Could he transfer his dragonish features to another being?

"My dear, sweet, Raven, why do you doubt me so?" Malchior uttered saccharinely, crossing his arms across his chest. "Besides, you must admit it; the look suits me," he added smugly as an afterthought.

A deep frown etched itself into Raven's face.

"How is any of this possible?" she asked uneasily. "I trapped you in the book with a curse, just like Rorek did a thousand years ago."

"Ah, very good Raven! Therein lies the rub!" exclaimed Malchior cheerfully. 

_He's too at ease_, Raven thought worriedly, despite the fact that she might be heard. _That can't be good._

Malchior cleared his throat, apparently preparing for a typical, villainous monologue, and continued.

"Of course, that second curse was a huge setback in my quest for release. I had come to within inches of ridding myself of that dratted book, and then you sealed me in again. However, I wasn't about to give up that easily. I realized you would never willingly release me again. So I decided to get out myself…through _you_."

Raven blanched, dreading what would come next. Goosebumps rose on her bare legs as the merciless wind whipped through them, but whether they were from cold or fear, Raven wasn't sure. Unfortunately, she was in no position to do anything but listen.

Malchior smiled cruelly. "You might not have been aware of this, but I have always had access to your thoughts and feelings. It's the rather nasty snag of being the owner of a cursed book."

Raven sneered at this. "Your bluffing. There's no way you could have been inside my mind. I would have sensed you immediately."

"Like you sensed me when you first opened that book?" Malchior countered.

Raven's sneer faltered.

"I believe you are familiar with cloaking enchantments, are you not? I don't think even you could doubt my ability to use them."

Raven felt her newfound confidence evaporate as quickly as it had materialized.

"As I was saying, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, I was conscious of all your emotional and mental states. I had a front row seat to anything and everything that went on inside your head. I perceived your sorrow and feelings of isolation from your teammates. I saw what is was you ached for so deeply. Understanding, acceptance… _companionship_. It was fairly simple to devise a plot to win your trust, in order for you to release me."

Malchior smiled evilly. "I'll give you a little example of how I used knowledge of you to my advantage"

The wizard waved his hand, and Raven saw a series of scenes flash before her eyes like a movie screen.

"_A giant chicken; I must be the luckiest girl in the world."_

"_Stankball? You must be the luckiest girl in the world."_

"_Pretty clever, huh?" "You're a genius."_

"_That Beast Boy sounds like an absolute genius."_

"Your own sarcasm was quite useful for endearing me to you."

As image past image flashed before her eyes, realization firmly took hold. Those words dropped on Raven like acid rain, burning and scarring. She began to shake violently. The former anger Raven had felt toward Terra was nothing compared to what was going on inside Raven at that moment.

She had never felt so exposed, so _used_…and being the prophesized portal of Trigon the Terrible, that was _really_ saying something. A red curtain seemed to fall before her eyes, and that strange whistling returned to her ears. If Raven could make the wizard fall dead with a look, she would do it in a split second.

Malchior smirked. "It's no use getting all fired up about it. It will only drag things on. But I supposed you might as well, since you usually have to suppress those sort of feelings, don't you?"

Raven realized with a start that the fiend was right; despite her anger, nothing was happening. This both elated and frightened her; it was a relief not be holding her emotions in check, but the fact that her powers weren't working confirmed Malchior's claim that he was definitely in charge here. When here is your mind, that's not a good thing.

Malchior took advantage of her shock to continue. "I waited patiently for the right moment, the moment when you would pick up the book. Weren't you curious that suddenly you felt a burning desire to pick up that old, dusty tome?"

The hairs on the back of Raven's neck stood on end, though she couldn't feel them for very long.

"Of course, I took advantage of the argument you had with that ri_**di**_culous changeling to 'strike up a conversation', so to speak. From there, with your own thoughts at hand, it was child's play."

Suddenly, Malchior frowned.

"I suppose you could say I underestimated you. If I had made you powerful enough to release me, I should have known you would be powerful enough to imprison me again as well. Who knows? With your new abilities, we might even have been allies. But I suppose it wasn't meant to be. And forgive me is if this sounds too colloquial, but you know what they say: If you can't join 'em, **beat 'em**."

Malchior casually shook his white bangs out of his eyes. "I wasn't going to give up that easily. I continued to probe your thoughts. I witnessed that Terra debacle first-hand from your point of view. And _that's_ where things became interesting."

The already cold atmosphere seemed to drop a few degrees more. 

_This is what he's been leading up to_, Raven thought fearfully. _He's been telling me all this mostly for his own enjoyment. The old cat-and-mouse game. But what's the point?_ Raven bit her lip. _Even Malchior wouldn't waste so much time for personal glory. Why is he telling me all this?_

If Malchior had acknowledged what she had just thought, he chose to ignore it.

"I had already observed a long time ago your outburst when you first encountered the notorious Dr. Light. And then there was that battle with the earth-shifter." Raven felt her insides being churned up at the mere memory of that secluded fight.

"That's where I came up with the idea of producing a similar reaction. It was rather uncomplicated; extraordinarily strong feelings and a lapse of control on your part permitted the surge of your more, _malevolent_ character. You would forget your self; _lose control_."

An insane grin flitted over Malchior's face that certainly didn't suit him. His cat-like pupils dilated jerkily, boring into Raven's pure amethyst pools.

"Don't you see the brilliance of it, Raven? I've been slipping myself, ever so slowly, into _you_. Oh, I didn't possess you," he reassured her quickly, studying the look on her face. "Your mind is far too powerful for that kind of nonsense. No, I just needed you to…slip up. Lose control. You wouldn't suspect me, since it wasn't the first time it had happened."

Despite the situation she was in, Raven couldn't help but wonder; did all those years of waiting, plus a resounding defeat, finally make Malchior crack?

Malchior tapped his head with two fingers. "Those power spells you've been having recently, Raven? Those _fits_, as you so nicely put it? Well, they weren't a coincidence. Those strange voices in your head, those arguments you seemed to have with yourself? Take a wild guess."

Once again, Malchior waved his hand, and Raven felt as though a sledgehammer had collided with her head. The headache that had disappeared returned ten-fold. She scrunched up her eyes in pain.

**Terra couldn't be back! _Why not?_ Asked a sly voice in the back of her head. _Would it matter to you if she was?_**

Raven began to shake again.

**The sly voice echoed in Raven's head. _Why should you tell HIM? It's none of his business. He wouldn't understand, he'd just think your even creepier than he thought._**

She felt as though she was going to be sick.

**_Care that you stupidly caused_, spat that annoying voice in the back of her head.**

Her eyes gazed ahead unseeingly.

**_Of course it's his responsibility…you don't think he took you here because he _cares _for you, do you?_**

The taunting voices echoed in her head.

_**W**_**_hy am I feeling afraid? I should be angry, angry at the traitorous earth-shifter!_**

How could she not have known?

Raven groaned in anguish as the pain continued to build up in her head.

**_Juststop,pleasejuststop_**.

Tears slid down her face unheeded. Her breath came out in short gasps, and her teeth chattered, covered by lips as blue as her cloak. She wanted to tear at herself, to clutch at her head, to **force** it to stop hurting. But she still couldn't move, she couldn't protect herself from the cold, she couldn't stop the pain; she was rooted to the spot.

Malchior stared derisively at Raven's crumpled form at his feet. He smiled, and suddenly stretched his arms.

"Well, I think this has gone on long enough," he murmured lazily.

With intense effort, Raven opened one eye. She was still shaking slightly, and she realized that she could feel properly again. She slowly clenched her fists, knowing that her range of movement was still limited.

"I know it's the villain's job to explain his evil doings, but even I must admit that I've drawn this out far too long," Malchior continued in that languid tone, sounding more like his old self. "The transfer was completed long ago, and it's not like you'll be alive long enough to ponder over everything I've said."

Raven lifted her head, the tear stains on her face like frozen roads in the landscape. She struggled to speak, but soon found her lips too chapped to pronounce anything. So she simply formed the word in her head.

_Why?_

Malchior frowned. "Why did I decide to free myself from a cursed book?" he asked harshly.

Raven never batted an eye.

_Why are you doing **this**?_

Malchior stared at Raven coldly. Suddenly, he strode forward and kicked Raven fiercely in the side. She cried out, fell over coughing frantically and struggled to regain her breath, clutching at her side.

Malchior's cool demeanor vanished in an instant.

"I could have been _free_," he said, his voice not much more than a whisper. "I could have left that accursed book." His hands began to shake for the first time.

"I waited _one, thousand, **years**_ for someone to release me," he uttered, striding forward and grabbing the front of Raven's cloak with one fist. He drew back his other hand and struck Raven square in the face with all his might. Raven fell to the ground with a cry, covering her face with her hands. Blood seeped from her fingers.

"AND NO HALF-DEMON IS GOING TO KEEP ME FROM BEING RELEASED NOW!" Malchior bellowed, his face twisted with rage, panting wrathfully, raising his hand to hit Raven again.

But instead, he let his hand drop to his side. He shook his white hair out of his face, and dusted himself off.

"That little clarification of my actions was merely another opportunity to make you suffer," he said coolly, as though they were discussing the weather. "Not that you'll really need it. There's plenty more where that came from," he concluded sinisterly.

Stepping back a little, he began to mutter an incantation Raven had never heard of.

Suddenly, Raven's body went rigid. For a moment nothing happened. Then the sorceress let out a cry of pure agony. The pain in her head extended to the rest of her body. She felt as though her back was covered in molten lava, especially between her shoulder blades. Hot knives pierced every other area, and she felt as though her jaw was being broken repeatedly. Raven screamed, and screamed, until she could no longer distinguish her voice form the howling of the wind that had chosen to invade her dark and solitary mind.

It happened suddenly. Large, black, leathery wings sprouted out of Raven's small back, ripping her uniform near her shoulder blades. She could feel the fingernails of her hands and feet extending and clawing the earth in a frenzy, shredding her boots. Long, sharp fangs jutted over her lower lip, dripping something that looked suspiciously like blood. Her voice turned from a female shriek to a fearsome roar. But what was most frightening was the sensation of insatiable hunger, hunger for death, destruction and desolation.

When it was over, Raven could see she had grown in size. Malchior's head was a few feet below her own, and in desperation she attempted to impale him with one of her razor sharp claws. To her horror, she saw the wizard raise his arm, and she followed suit. He raised both arms rapidly, and she could feel her wings begin to beat vigorously.

It was so horrible, Raven just shut her eyes and hoped it was all an illusion.

_Not a chance, Raven,_ muttered that cold voice in her head. _I think it's high time we head back, don't you?_

Before she could protest, she opened her eyes and they were already in her bedroom. Everything looked much smaller.

Malchior grinned at her from below. "I wonder what your teammates will make of this new enemy?" he asked, throwing his head back and laughing that evil resounding laugh that threatened to shatter and devastate everything that Raven held dear.

* * *

A/N: Dun dun duuun! Well, this chapter took me a while, and reviews are greatly appreciated. I know this wasn't what most of you expected, but this is how it's gonna be.

hoshi-ko88: Sorry if it was confusing, but I hope you understand now.

Insanity 101: Nope, not him. Who ever said anything about him? (hehehe).

Child of Blood: Well, trade the dash of Slade for some other ingredient.

Black Comet: Thank you

Heroine of the Valley: Yeah, the first chap is mellow. I bet now you understand the voices. Thanks, I liked them too. Yeah, I hope so too. Of course he will, it's ROBIN. It's just my theory of the whole statue thing. Ha! It honestly didn't occur to me, but, yeah, she can! Have you ever seen a cat fight that wasn't? Well, somebody had to, didn't they? Nope, not Slade.

Jambey


	16. Walls Come Tumbling Down

Beast Boy's heavy footsteps echoed throughout the hallway as he thudded through the darkness. The Tower was as still as stone; the silence settled on every nook and cranny like moldy cobwebs.

Beast Boy moved so slowly, it looked as though his feet were dragging through a quagmire. He didn't seem to notice, however. His eyes were unfocused, and he reached out slightly with his hands, as though groping for something that was no longer there.

The obscure shadows seemed to stretch over, threatening to overtake him, but never quite making it. In an abstract thought, Beast Boy finally understood why Raven found consolation in the gloom. The darkness offered a chance to slip away, to veil all his vulnerabilities and sufferings. Shadows didn't conceal half as many dangers as the illuminated world did.

Beast Boy never knew how he made it through that hallway, how he pushed the elevator button, how his legs seemed to have a mind of their own. A quiet humming reverberated in his ears. The numbness was a welcome comfort, a wall separating the changeling from the outside world. A cold _whoosh_ of air blew against his face, bringing him to the surface again. It took him a while to register that he was back in the main room.

The first image that greeted his eyes was of Cyborg and Starfire talking in the middle if the room. Starfire looked distraught. The Tamaranian bit her nails while Cyborg rubbed his forehead tiredly. B.B. walked over to them wordlessly.

Cyborg looked at B.B. inquiringly.

"What happened with Terra?" he asked uneasily, scrutinizing the changeling's face.

Beast Boy said nothing.

Starfire hesitantly laid a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. "Friend, is everything all right?" she asked softly.

B.B. looked at Starfire's hand stoically, than looked up at her face. Starfire unconsciously drew away. There was something foreign in her teammate's face; something that made her nervous.

Cyborg frowned deeply, putting his hands on his hips. "Beast Boy…," he said.

"She's gone."

Both of them started, then exchanged glances. Beast Boy's voice was barely above a whisper. His vacant green eyes slowly began to gleam. He turned away from them.

"Oh, say it is not so!" said Starfire desperately, clasping her hands together.

"No way…," murmured an astonished Cyborg. "I mean, I know what she did just now was bad," he stated, gesturing with his hands, "but, well, I thought we could…"

"Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?" uttered Beast Boy viciously.

Cyborg's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again.

"But, has Terra already exited the tower?" asked Starfire hopefully. She looked at Cyborg optimistically. "Perhaps it is not too late to try and convince her other…"

"Don't you get it, Star? She's leaving, and there's nothing we can do about it!" snapped Beast Boy.

Starfire fell silent, looking crestfallen.

Cyborg scowled at B.B.'s back. "Hey, look man, it's not our fault this is happening. What's gotten into you?"

Beast Boy bowed his head and said nothing. Cyborg was just about to reach out to him, when out of nowhere, Beast Boy grabbed a chair near the sofa with a violent cry, and hurled it with all his strength against the wall. The chair smashed to bits, leaving a crumbly hole in the plaster.

_I couldn't help her…_

"Whoa, what is the matter with you?" asked a flabbergasted Cyborg.

Beast Boy wasn't through yet. He grabbed the Game Station in front of the couch and hurled it at the TV screen. It shattered upon impact, and broken pieces of glass rained down on them.

_I couldn't stop it…_

"Beast Boy! Please, desist!" cried a horrified Starfire.

But Beast Boy couldn't stop. The changeling turned into a large gorilla, and grabbed the sofa. "Graaargh!" he roared ferociously, pulling with all his might, shredding the couch into pieces.

_She's gone…she's gone again. I can't handle it…not **again**. Not three times._

A whining sound and a hum of energy reached his ears. The mammoth green gorilla turned to find a sonic cannon trained on him. He growled menacingly, baring his teeth.

Cyborg's cold gray eye didn't waver or blink.

"Beast Boy," he said deliberately, keeping is free hand on the cannon. "_Get a grip_."

The giant gorilla growled again, grabbing one of the larger remnants of the couch, ready to hurl it at the cybernetic teen. Starfire's eyes glowed, as did her hands, but a swift and significant glance from Cyborg kept her from attacking. He turned back to the changeling.

"You're just making things worse. This isn't helping you…or Terra."

That seemed to do the trick. The gorilla's scowl vanished, and after a moment of thought, it soon shrank down back into the teenage superhero.

Beast Boy stared at his two teammates, breathing heavily. He was a bit hunched over, every muscle in his body tense. Cyborg kept his sonic cannon on, and the Tamaranian's eyes still glowed. A very tense moment passed.

Suddenly, Beast Boy dropped to his knees. Starfire's eyes stopped glowing and she immediately flew over to him.

"Beast Boy! Are you undamaged?" she asked, kneeling in front of him.

Beast Boy stared at the floor. After a few seconds, his shoulders started shaking with suppressed sobs. He could feel a lump the size of a golf ball lodged in his throat. He screwed up his eyes, unwilling to let any salty bullets hit the floor.

Beast Boy could feel the walls that had been so hard to build up tumbling back down again.

_No_, he thought angrily, _I'm not doing this again. It gets harder every time…I won't feel it, I won't!_

Beast Boy bit the inside of his cheek so hard, he tasted copper in his mouth. Pain grew in his head as he fought to keep those old ghosts at bay, refusing point-blank to picture those beautiful cobalt eyes, those eyes he tried so hard to fill with joy, but were always filled with pain, always filled with loneliness…

Suddenly he felt two arms wrap around him, not in the usual bone crushing fashion, but in a gentle way. His emerald eyes widened in surprise. Starfire embraced him softly. Slowly, the tension in his head started to ebb away. A couple of feet away, the hum of sonic energy disappeared.

"It is okay, Beast Boy," Starfire murmured. "You do not need to continue holding it back. We are here for you."

As she spoke, Starfire felt something cold and wet drip though her hair. She felt Beast Boy's arms clinging to her, and she didn't need Raven's empathy to feel the despair that emanated from him in waves. Beast Boy was whispering something inaudible, as he hugged her back, trembling miserably, his tears trickling down her shoulder. She rubbed the changeling's back soothingly.

"I-I can't do it again, Star…I can't," he sobbed in a broken voice, barely perceptible, as the Tamaranian held him. "I c-can't l-lose her again. It just hurts t-too much."

Starfire felt her own eyes brimming with tears, seeing her usually cheerful teammate break down like this. She kept stroking his back, as Beast Boy continued to cry. Cyborg stared at the pair of them, feeling horribly helpless. He felt as though his heart would break, unable to help his best friend, who seemed so out of reach.

Every second that dragged by seemed like an hour. Finally, after an eternity, Beast Boy's sobs began to cease. Starfire heard him let out a defeated sigh. He pulled away, rubbing his face, refusing to meet her gaze.

Starfire stared at him carefully. "Beast Boy," she began, "will…"

Whatever Starfire was going to ask him, Beast Boy never knew. For at that moment, the main room door opened, and the Boy Wonder came racing out.

"Titans! Move! We have an emergency!" he yelled, barely stopping to catch his breath. In his hurry, he didn't register the scene before him; Cyborg standing next to Starfire, who was kneeling before a tear-stained Beast Boy, a shredded couch and shattered TV screen looming in the background.

Cyborg turned to the leader, surprised. "What is it? Is Raven okay?"

"She's in trouble! And it's worse than you think!" Robin uttered, his mask wide with shock and horror. But before he could say anything else, a fearsome roar and a thundering crash behind him cut him off, and a dreadful sight met the rest of the team's eyes.


	17. Get it Together

The button was just inches away. And yet it seemed like miles. Nothing moved in the darkness; not a speck of dust disrupted the stillness. It was quiet…so _quiet_…was it because of what had happened? Or was it because she had just cut ties with the only home she had ever known?

Terra stood staring at the door. She was at the end of the hallway. She couldn't go forward without pushing the button to open the door. That much was obvious. And yet it was harder than she could ever have imagined.

The earth-shifter's arms hung lifeless at her sides. Sweat glistened down the back of her neck, despite the small chills that seized her now and then. All she could do was stare at the seemingly plain slate of metal dividing discord from uncertainty.

Some of the fire that had been kindled during her shouting match with Beast Boy was still alive. It was like a brand that still smoked on her charred skin. _I'm not wanted here_, it burned in her chest. _There's no_ point _in staying_.

And yet there she was, standing in the dark, not moving. The silence pounded her eardrums worse than any sound could. She strained her ears for any kind of sound; a shout, a reprimand, a sob, even that of a fly buzzing. There was none to be heard.

Terra started suddenly. The situation was too recognizable. It was like remembering a dream you have one time too many, only to forget it the moment you wake up. This was familiar, this had happened before…

Terra recalled standing this way, alone in her room, when she had arrived at the Tower the day before. Her sapphire eyes softened; she felt goose bumps popping up on her skin. Years separated her from that memory. Back then she almost wished she hadn't arrived; it was a scornful mix-up, akin to interrupting a private gathering. How could she face everyone after what she had done? And now…the circumstances were almost the same.

Terra bit her lip to keep from crying out. How different things had seemed, had _been_ back then! The Titans were all there, even that…the sorceress. They were all supportive, ready to offer a hand, to pick her up one last time; that pair of emerald eyes full of joy and trust…

Terra shook her head, dispelling her thoughts. She regained some feeling in her stiff knees with effort. Her eyes hardened. Affirming her resolve, she pushed the button and exited the tower.

* * *

Outside, the weather had winded down a bit. There was no more thunder to be heard, but the sky was still saturated with clouds and black as pitch. The air was frosty, and the wind blew when you were least prepared for it, whistling through the trees. However, a heaviness hung in the atmosphere, merely another tangible darkness, deep and thick enough to seep into the throat and lungs of its victim, drowning it in despair.

Terra summoned a block of earth near the edge of Titan Island. She jumped on the boulder nimbly, and was about to take off, but something stopped her. She knew in her heart that no matter how angry and bitter she was, she couldn't leave without one last look. Terra breathed deeply, and with effort kept her lower lip from trembling. She turned around for a last look of Titan's Tower. The sight hit her like a ton of bricks.

There it was; the same big T, warm and welcoming, offering protection from the figurative storm. Terra felt lightheaded; could she walk away again?

"It's not like I haven't done it before," she muttered under her breath, attempting a chuckle, which died in her throat. Her eyes remained lock on the building. Something welled inside of her at that moment; it went beyond loneliness and dismay. This feeling seemed to come from her very core; she felt an indefinite physical pain at the mere thought of being on the move again.

It wasn't like the other times. She had left places she considered "home" more than once. But now, she felt a panic rising within her. With a rush of fear, she realized what was the matter; it was more than a feeling, it was an instinct, which told her that if she left, she would not survive.

Terra had never doubted her ability to stay alive. She recalled being forced, more than once, to live in what others would consider inhospitable places, such as in caves, under bridges, the works. But this had nothing to do with physical needs. It seemed new and well-known at the same time. She had felt it once, but when? The decision to leave was shifting her world; an earthquake of a magnitude she could never summon up was taking place in the very foundations of her being.

No…I can't stay…

No, **no**…

_This has to be done_.

She came back from the edge; she felt slightly drunk.

The earth-shifter blinked several times to distort her vision of the T. Using her powers, before any more spells could occur, she shifted the boulder 180 degrees and disappeared into the night.

* * *

The streets of Jump City were usually bright and cheery during the day, with the occasional exception of destructive monsters and dangerous burglaries. But at night, it was a different matter. A cold wind blew discarded newspapers around in an ominous fashion; the quiet here was different than from back in the Tower. That had been stifling and unnerving. This was an uneasy silence, haunted by a specter of an indescribable nature.

The boulder hovered slowly over the abandoned streets. Terra looked around. The movie of her life was replaying: in her mind's eye, she saw a manipulated henchman, floating through the fog, sweeping through the same path, scanning the area for any fool who would dare threaten Slade's ascension to power. The apprentice's eyes were jaded; her mouth was set, every muscle tight, ready to respond to the slightest, unnatural wavering of the mist.

Terra could feel her insides twisting, the bones in her fingers grinding against each other in her gloves. It was impossible to express how much she hated that figure, a figure she was tied to, impossible to escape from. That figure summed up the lowest kind of degeneracy she thought imaginable. Self-loathing and guilt merged together into a noose that tightened around her neck, making her dizzy with abhorrence. She knew it was a part of her; it made her despise it all the more. All she could feel for that person was revulsion.

But that feeling didn't remain. The gloom made it's presence known again, and began to pivot around her. Soon, the aggressiveness faded away.

Terra's gaze at non-existent entities slowly dropped; she stared at the ground. Her shoulders sagged under an unknown weight. Her stiff knees buckled faintly. The rock kept carrying her forward, and she let it lead her wherever it wished.

With every inch it advanced, she was drained of a painful feeling, a cold resentment. She continued to watch the asphalt as she followed her unknown path. The distant sounds of the city night began to fade along with her emotions. The dizzying spiral of guilt and self-loathing began to shrink.

Vaguely, she wondered what was happening. It was like she had submerged into a deep pool, and was slowly leaving the cruel, bitter world behind her. It wasn't real, it was merely a dream.

She could feel an emptiness growing in the pit of her stomach. She welcomed it. It smothered the former feeling of apprehension. It was as if she had entered the eye of the storm. There was an eerie silence about her…but instinct told her shrapnel could strike her at any moment.

Her taut muscles relaxed gently. There was no fear, no desperation. _There's no point_, she thought blankly. She smiled strangely, her eyes half open, mocking herself. 

_Anything, anything is better than remembering_.

She opened her arms, as though welcoming a long-lost friend. Her body began to blend with the vacant nothingness of the shadows surrounding her. She embraced the peace bestowed upon her. Yes, this was what she must do: forget, simply wave away the past, and forget it…

_The changeling grabbed Terra's arms and shook her. "WHY DO YOU HURT THE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU?"_

Terra's eyes faltered slightly. The emptiness in her wavered a bit. She lowered her arms bemusedly, confused. The memory hadn't completely shattered the void; but she could tell it was cracked. Something was trying to break through the surface, penetrating the smooth, calm waters of her subconscious.

She frowned absentmindedly; it was disrupting the stillness. A beat from an unknown drum began to pound. A question kept pulsing inside of her, echoing in the empty depths of her spirit, softly at first, but slowly gaining strength. It was inescapable, unavoidable: _Why?_

**_One shot to your heart without breaking your skin  
_**

**_No one has the power to hurt you like your friends…_**

Her friend…that's right. Beast Boy was her **friend**. Her first real friend. Her only real friend.

The dreamy feeling began to leave her. A fog, oddly reminiscent, began to creep onto the streets, until she could hardly see two feet in front of her. The moisture from it clung to the skin on her face; it felt cool against her warm forehead. She felt more detached from the outside world than ever.

And yet consciousness, pain-ridden and agonizing consciousness was pouring in too rapidly for her to stem the flow. The walls that took years to erect could not be brought back up in time. The awful truth was unavoidable.

Her powers…Terra cursed the power she harnessed within her. To others, it was an inhuman ability, a god-like attribute, something only possible in power-hungry fantasies. To her, it was a rift, a gorge that separated her from the rest of humanity. It was too powerful, too uncontrollable…and so she had no choice.

"I had no choice!" she murmured to herself, her voice cracking slightly from lack of use, the harsh sounds it produced swallowed up by the night.

"I had to run, I had to leave…it was for everyone's good." She said it like a mantra; a personal invocation of numbness, protecting her from something too hard to contemplate.

_**Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else  
**_

_**Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself**_

No…She shook her head, clearing it swiftly. No, she _had_ to do it. There was no one to confide in, no one to tell the truth to. It was too hard to face it, and how could she guarantee anyone's safety? No, it was better to leave, and start anew someplace else. That way, no one would get hurt. No one.

The memories burned holes into her mind…

Years of isolation, years of trying and failing. Years of occasionally achieving minor successes, which were never enough to cushion the blow of the next disappointment. Years; days, months and **years** of falling, of picking herself back up, to keep running, to always keep on running…no matter what.

_**And now your chest burns and your back aches  
**_

_**From 15 years of holding the pain**_

Terra bowed her head. Her vision had cleared a bit. Her body was suspended in the void. She listened to the ghostly silence of the lonely city…a city that had seen her sneak back and forth, from Titan's Tower to an evil, underground lair. Every night creeping, every night descending into it's depth, swallowed up by the pitiless darkness, whispering, looking over her shoulder, feeling hunted. Every night cowering under the cold, unflinching grey eye, as pain lashed her and made her body rack with sobs. Every night, the unforgiving hardness of the floor, the panic caused from hearing heavy footsteps, the absolute relief of a moment's rest dashed by the dread of when it would end…It's for the best, she thought constantly. This way, it's under control. This way…no one gets hurt. No one…

With time, the wounds healed. The hard floor was replaced by a stiff cot. Her techniques improved, and the fear of being consumed by tons of earth, or a heartless man's sadism, diminished. Soon she was challenged by more difficult tasks, which she slowly began to accomplish with ease. And yet…the fear never went away. Physical demons gave way to emotional ones. She would still wake up at night, drenched in cold sweat, hyperventilating, questioning the agonizing methods.

Was it the only path? How could such hatred and suffering produce anything positive? Now, removed from glaring reality, Terra surrendered to the one instinct she had refused to acknowledge, the one she had buried under indefinite stretches of trials and anguish; she let the one thought that wasn't allowed in her mind to present itself: _Maybe this wasn't the right thing to do, for anyone._

**_And now you only have yourself to blame  
_**

**_If you continue to live this way_**

With that, she came back from the brink. Terra gasped as her eyes sprang backed to awareness; she felt as though she had dunked her head in ice cold water. Her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. She hugged herself, trying to make it stop.

She realized the rock had descended; it lay in the middle of the street. The fog was receding slowly, as if giving her the chance to catch up with it. A slight pain in her legs made her realize she had fallen to her knees. She bowed her head, golden locks covering her face, curtains signaling the end of the play. She felt an urgent wish for the pain to just go away.

"But that's just it," she murmured softly, the words echoing into the emptiness. She closed her aching eyes. "_It won't_."

In that agonizing moment, Terra saw the truth flash before her eyes. The questions that had plagued her for months no longer seemed inconceivable. Beast Boy image flashed before her eyes once more.

"It wasn't necessary," she whispered to herself. "All that…it didn't need to happen."

Beast Boy, welcoming her as no one had before; how could she suspect him of betrayal? She thought of her reflections the night before. She knew now, with all her heart, that B.B. had never betrayed her trust, had never done her wrong.

"I should have stayed…maybe none of this would have happened."

Tears leaked from those cobalt eyes. Terra scrunched up her eyes, still fighting to keep them back. She hugged herself tighter, struggling to stem the flow of emotions those simple thoughts had triggered. It lasted only a minute, but in that minute, a lifetime of hardships rang out, bouncing off the vacuum of hopelessness.

And yet, all was not lost. Somewhere within her, a voice was shaking it's head.

_No_, it said. _It's no use thinking this way. Regrets won't change what you've done_.

Slowly, Terra's small shoulders ceased to shake. The tears ceased to flow. From the inner depths of her heart, she breathed deeply, and emitted a pent-up, long overdue sigh. With it came a sensation of peace she had not felt since God knows when.

_**You have to heal your heart**_

Terra lifted her head. The fog had lifted. She glanced up; as if on cue, the smoky black clouds that had seemed to dominate the sky since the beginning cleared to reveal a brilliant full moon.

The moonlight revived her a bit. Shakily, she got to her feet. Exhaustion seeped in from every pore. And yet, she felt strangely light; a weary burden had finally been lifted from her shoulders. She knew she had a long way to go before things could be set right, but it didn't seem to matter at that moment. It could be done. She **could **put things right.

_**Life is a choice you make**_

_**You can give or you can take**_

An unbelievable relief swept through her. It was so simple…The truth had set her free.

"The pain won't go away. But maybe…just maybe…with some help, I can put it behind me…"

She was filled with a fresh hope. There was also fear; she didn't know where to go from here. But she no longer thought the path didn't exist. She had almost treaded it before, without realizing it…

Suddenly, a thought stabbed at her consciousness. The Titans…once again, she had left their home, leaving it in emotional disarray. How much more harm could she cause them? She could feel the guilt welling up inside of her, threatening to overwhelm her.

"No."

With a power Terra never knew she had, she stood up straight, and turned back.

"No…no, it doesn't have to be that way…not this time."

She had found the freedom; she knew that the answers to her lost questions were not in an uncertain life of wandering…it was back at the tower, the only place she had ever called home.

The Titans had always tried to help; it had never been enough, because she hadn't been willing to help herself. What would she be if she hurt them again, left them behind again?

She couldn't permit that, she couldn't sink that low. Somehow, Terra knew that this was a key to her eventual recovery.

_**No matter what anybody says**_

___**  
What matters most is what you think **_

_**of yourself**_

Slowly gaining strength, Terra took one step, then another, then another; slowly, but surely, making her way back to Titan's Tower, back to her friends, back to her home, back to her life.

_**Get it together**_


End file.
